Field Trip To A Ninja Hideaway

Happy Monday!  I know, quit being being so perky, but hey, I have reason to be in a great mood. I saw Iron Man 3 yesterday and it totally rocked. It was beyond cool. The story, the dialogue and of course, the awesome action. RDJ just has chemistry with everyone and everything, I swear. My Bulls finally put the Nets in their place, on the bench til next season, and were led by my fave player, Joakim Noah with 24 points. He's such a big, happy guy with the heart and intensity of a tiger.

However, these reasons are not the main reason why I am happy. I am on a field trip today over at Captain Ninja Alex J. Cavanaugh's blog talking my fave topic, badass women in film. So come on over, I'll be waiting.

Girls Kick Ass, Says So On The T-Shirt

Hey Imaginarians, while I am off in Deadlineville, my wild and crazy cool pal from Mind of Mine is here with an awesome guest post on my fave subject, Girls Who Kick Ass. Take it away, my friend...

Girls Who Kick Ass!
When I am picking a movie, either at a store, in line at the movies or downloading on that old World Wide Web. I ask myself, what kind of movie do I want to watch, Action? Thriller? Comedy or Drama?
I go through the list of movies and I often find that the genre is not really important. No, the quickest thing to draw me into a title is a strong and powerful female lead. The type of lead that demands your attention and whom eases screen presence. Give her a weapon to kick ass, be it intellect, wisdom or a pistol.

This guest post is an ode to those ladies, the ladies who kick ass and take no guff from anyone. Those Positive female role models. I should probably tell you at this point, that these are in no particular order, as in not to infuriate anyone. I know the effects, someone else's personal opinion can have on internet geeks. I am the same way....'What do you mean you have listed the Pink Power Ranger, number 5 of your all time favourite rangers, Roooarrr'. *Smashes up key board*

So here we go...

Sandra Bullock - Angela Bennett - The Net.

I can't really remember when my obession with with Heroine's began. But I can remember the first to have such an impact on me. The star making vehicle for Sandra Bullock was released to cinema's in 1995 and I believe we rented it sometime after that. The Net tells the story of Angela Bennett, a computer analyst and recluse, whose live is taken over by a computer terrorist group who believes she has access to a disk which could bring them down. They change her name, kill her only ally and force to her to get her life back, the only way she knows how.

The Internet was still a rare comodity at the time of it's release and it is as much a character driven as it is laced with not so clever plot devices. Fan of the CSI tool kit, full of things, which have not been invented yet, might want to take a retrospective look at this one. This movie is no Citizen Kane (I have never even seen Citizen Kane), nor is it a Gigli (Not seen that either) but it has it's moments. Bullock makes the list because she didn't need to use her fists to kick ass and that is alright in my book.

Bridget Fonda - Maggie Hayward - Assassin (Le Femme Nikita, Point Of No Return)

My parents, really were laxed when it came to monitoring my viewing. I was pretty much allowed watch anything, regardless of age. Like the movie above, I watched this for the first time, when I was quite young and like everyone else, watched it again when I got older and realised that I had no idea what was going on. For instance, I didn't realise that the opening shoot up in the pharmacy happened because Maggie needed them druggggsss! Yep, she was a big oul heroin junkie. I had a big old metaphorical hard on for this movie, as soon as a reformed Mags, kicked of those stylish black stiletto's, cocked her gun and went on a shooting rampage in a fancy hotel. That is a women after my own heart. She will die trying of course, cuz I like the mens.

I could go into more detail about the plots of the movies I am listing but I really don't feel like it...eh, I mean, they really don't matter. In fact, if I am honest and this is just between me and you, many of the entires, don't actually have any. *Sssshhh*. To sum it up in a nutshell, Gabirel Byrne, saves Fonda from a death sentence but in turn, makes her an assassain, which is where all the fun begins. She is set free eventually, or so she thinks but as she falls in love, she is called on to do the odd job. Kill some politicans, help a buddy move a sofa. Before that 'final job' where all the shit hits the fan. As I said that doesn't matter, what matters is, you see Fonda, kick the living shit out of a would be mugger. That my friends, make this move awesome.

Bridgette Wilson- Sonya Blade - Mortal Kombat

Now, when I played computer games as kid, a couple of titles really stood out for me. Street Fighter - Big props to my girl Chun Li, Streets of Rage, Whadup Blaze! and also Mortal Kombat. In 1995, Mortal Kombat hit our screens. Die hard games fan were appalled but I was in love. In love with Sonya Blade, played by Bridgette Wilson. She had one thing on her mind, movie stardom and to kill Kano, the red eyed killing machine. Now, this movies, views on feminism are slightly askew, first, she is able to kick ass no problem but by the time the movie ends, she has fallen in love and needs to be rescued. But for the 45 minutes or so, where she kicks ass, has earned her a place on this list.

You know how the movie goes, but here is a brief recap to get you up to date. Various fighters are recruited to fight on a mysterious island, for a mysterious tournament to save mysterious earth. Oh wait, I guess mysterious isn't appropriate description for Earth, anyway...They must win this tournament must be won, or bad things will happen to earth. I guess they lost then.....

Halle Berry - Patience Philips - Catwoman.

I am going to get so much slack for this but I have to admit it, I have a drug problem and I didn't hate Catwoman. There I said it, I like them drugs mmmmkay. Berry, plays Patience, a shy mousy artist, who is more inclined to lick someones boots than tell them where to shove it. I for one, have never met a black women like her but I didn't write this movie...She uncovers a secret by, get this, a cosmetic company and is killed. This is obviously where the cat fun starts.

As I said, many people hated this movie for the simple fact, it is fucking awful. But I am not one of those people. I think its mighty fun! Frances Conway, even plays a crazy cat lady. Sharon Stone, plays a business women, who has turned to steel or concrete or some other kind of implausible shit. Who really cares, all that matters is Catwoman kicks some ass, and she does my friends. She does.

Sandra Bullock - Gracie Le Free Bush - Miss Congeniality.

As a young gay man, this was 90 minutes of glitterati orgasm. It was a boat load of fun, to watch the transformation of Bullock, from a slob to beauty queen and with some inspired casting of Candy Bergen, you can't help but love this. It is genuinely funny, entertaining and I have run out of adjectives to describe how fucking awesome Miss C really is.

Bullock plays Gracie, an FBI agent who is chose to go undercover at the Miss America beauty contest, to weed out a terrorist who may target the competition  Cue hilariousness, as she is made over to fit in with the other air contestants, only to find that things or people are not as simple as she looks. This is Bullock's second entry on this list, lets just say, the women knows how to pick a good movie. I was even tempted to put The Blindside on here because lets face it. Lee Anne Toughy also, kicks ass.

Jennifer Lawrence - Katniss Everdeen - The Hunger Games.

Ok, time to get serious. I have nothing bad, dry or sarcastic to say about this movie. But lord I will still try. Nope, got nothing. For a reason, I can't quite fathom right now, I had very little interest in this Hunger Games saga, I hadn't read the books, or checked this out at the cinema. Come to think of it, I don't recall even seeing a trailer for it.

Jennifer plays Katniss, who lives in a world very different to how we live now. She is the epitome of ass kickiness. She competes in a barbaric tournament, known as the Hunger Games. I finally gave in and watched it after catching her Jenny in the disappointing House At The End Of The Street and absolutely freaking loving her in it. I am exciting for the coming sequels.

Milla Jovovich - Alice - Resident Evil

Big Mansion, underground labratory, hot girl kicking it in a red dress. Yes, I can only be talking about one movie, Resident Evil. This movie actually contains two girls who Kick Ass, Milla and Michelle Rodriguez. One becomes a disgusting zombie, the other becomes a telekinetic head fuck, who can kill people by looking at them. But either way and lets all say it together, they both Kick Ass!

The plot is probably well known enough. Crazy lab, zombies, implausible plot devices. It has it all. It's actually grown into a massive franchise, which eventually invited Ali Larter to the mix and although nothing beats the first and most interesting movie, they still have a lot to offer to the genre.
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This was just an ode to some of those girls who kick as on the movie screen, to be honest there are a lot more. But no one as time to go through them now, me or you. So let's her it for those ladies, who did not make this list.

Charlie's Angels, known as Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz and Danny De Vito (Drew Barrymore). The electrifying Elektra played Jennifer Garner, The fantastically stormy Sue Storm brought to life by Jessica Alba. Krispy Kreme and fucking ugly shoe destroying Julia Roberts as Erin Brockovich. 

I'm On Team Prison And Dancing

This weekend rocked for Yours Truly, oh yes it did. My Fighting Irish are playing for the National Championship for the first time since 1988. As a long suffering Irish fan who has had to endure jeers and smears this season, it is vindication. Who's undefeated now, bitches? I did the happy dance all night Saturday and all day yesterday. And continued into last night because my Bears laid the smackdown on the Vikings. Booyah!

Now, on to Team Prison...

SPOILERS AHOY!

The Walking Dead was incredible last night. Glenn rose to the occasion and is truly one badass mo fo. Zombie kill of the week for damn sure. I knew he would not be giving up the group. And poor Mags, she tried to hold out, but the Governor really is one giant bag of psycho dick. I want Michonne to emasculate him with her katana after he threatened Maggie with rape, making her strip like that. And Merle...Daryl needs to cut off his brother's other hand and feed him to the walkers after what he did to Glenn. But I have a feeling after seeing Glenn stare after Merle and the Governor, they really are dead men. Oh he was comforting Maggie, but he was plotting.

I thought Milton was a crazy bastard, but I've given him more thought. He's a shifty eyed dork totally out of his element.  I told a fellow fan that he's Burke from Aliens. He would shoot his mother in the knee and leave her for the walkers ala Shane if he thought that would save his life. Hope he gets to be walker nuggets soon, too.

Next week's midseason finale is going to be epic. Team Prison is off to confront Team Woodbury and I sure as hell hope we get a Daryl-Merle battle royal. I am not looking forward to the drought, though.

SPOILERS OVER

Tomorrow I will be having a guest post here by a great guy, Mind of Mine. He'll be talking about my favorite subject, kick ass girls. I am on a serious deadline so I won't be around this week. Forgive my absence, my friends, but I have got to get this story done. Be well and thanks for always being there. :)

The Best Movies I Have Ever Seen: Kill Bill Vols. I & II

I recently listed 50 (well more like twice that) of my favorite movies. I could not include all of them as they would fill the volumes of the Encyclopedia Brittannica from  A to L. Besides, a list doesn't convey passion or feeling. So every now and then, I'm going to share with you all some of my  faves through the occasional review here. First up, two films that are really one continuous tale, Quentin Tarantino's masterpiece vision, Kill Bill Vols. 1 & 2. This review is also part of my friend M's QT Blogathon in celebration of Tarantino's upcoming December release Django Unchained. 

There are not enough words in the English language to adequately describe my love for Tarantino and his strong female characters. Like the god himself, Joss Whedon, Q's ladies are unique. They are in-your-face, intelligent and more often than not, deadly. Especially in the Kill Bill flicks. For those not familiar, the Kill Bill movies center on The Bride, a former member of the Deadly Vipers assassination squad. She seeks revenge on her former boss and teammates after they tried to kill her and slaughtered members of her wedding party. The attempt cost The Bride  not only years of her life, but her child as well. Then to add to her pain, while she has been in a coma, one of the orderlies has been raping her and letting others pay for the same sick action.

This is one of the finest revenge films ever crafted in my opinion. The character of The Bride is a warrior woman who seeks her own vengeance. In complete contrast to the nauseating soft, passive aggressive females and damsels in distress Hollywood is forever cramming down our throats, The Bride is that rare breath of pure, dizzying oxygen. Uma Thurman owns this role to her pinkie toes. Favorite scene is when she takes down O-Ren's Crazy 88 gang samurai style, slashing, hacking and stabbing, getting coated with blood.

And  it's not just The Bride who stands out here, oh no. Check the coterie of female villains. You have the sociopath Elle Driver, the sadistic O-Ren Ishii and the badass Vernita Green. They don't rely on poison to kill. (Can I get an Amen?) They are combat trained, weapons experts with a passion for the kill, just like any male assassin. They don't mind blood on their hands or their clothes. Darryl Hannah, Lucy Liu and Vivica Fox are outstanding, delivering career performances. These are four of the best roles ever written for women.

Now, lest you think I have forgotten the men in here, let me tell you David Carradine and Michael Madsen turn in two of their finest performances, ever. There could be no other actors in these roles as far as I'm concerned. David Carradine is absolutely perfect as the sadistic Deadly Viper leader, Bill. He brings the exploitation film sensibility along with that spaghetti western cool. Michael Madsen is pure deadly bastard while Sonny Chiba is epic as Hattori Hanzo, swordmaster extraordinaire, who agrees to create a sword especially for The Bride when she tells him who she is hunting.

The f/x and story are simply outstanding. I love the wire work, the fight scenes and the anime. The story is a kaleidoscopic mix of current action and flashback, a potpourri of film genres that include chanbara, girls with guns, martial arts, action, spaghetti westerns as well as rape and revenge. Q literally created a love letter to his favorite kinds of films and he takes us along for the mad ride. His passion shines through every frame of stylized violence, every bar of strange, trippy music and every syllable of brilliant dialogue.

One final compliment has to go to the soundtrack. Tarantino scores will never, ever be mistaken for another. They are as unique to his films as fingerprints to human beings. You get Motown, Johnny Cash, Japanese rockabilly and a whistled ditty that will burn itself into your brain and leave a scar. The RZA reins in this symphonic rodeo and makes it work.

Kill Bill is a sheer, unadulterated cinematic orgy. It is also a sucker punch to Hollywood, who has labored under the misapprehension that women can only survive childbirth and bad relationships. That we draw strength only by bonding with our sisters over handbags, shoes and martinis. You want a 50,000 kilowatt charge of female empowerment? A bloody, high octane good time? See these movies.

A brief note: If you want the full effect of Kill Bill, check out  Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair. It's very hard to find, but should be well worth it as it is supposedly the entire Cannes screening plus extended anime not released in the States.

The Crow

"People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can't rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right."

Today I want to share my thoughts on a film that resonates with me on every level.  I fell in love with The Crow from the first moment I saw it. It's a glorious, almost Shakespearean, tale of revenge, lost love and justice that spoke to directly to me. Compound that with the tragedy surrounding the production and source material and well, needless to say it seared itself into my writer's soul. This is sacred cinema to me, an untouchable film whose mark must surely be set in stone.

The Crow defined a cultural tide which birthed grunge rock and gave rise to a disaffected Gen X, who had survived the saccharine sugar coma of the 80's, Reagan Republicanism and hair metal. More over, it is the opus of a young actor whose life was cut tragically short. When I heard that a remake was planned, not sequel, prequel, but an actual remake, I was seized with horror. Yes, I bitched about the Evil Dead reboot and snark blasted the upcoming Dirty Dancing retelling, but none of those left me as disturbed as the remake of The Crow.

It is a project that has been in the making for at least four years. I believe that it has been plagued with problems and constant cast changes because no one wants to really touch this mythic tale. And yet, the studio persists. I have heard the cast choices to portray the titular vengeful rocker and ultimate badass, Eric Draven. Bradley Cooper, Mark Wahlberg and Channing Tatum...No, no and no. I cannot wrap my mind around any of them, let alone picturing a single one donning the iconic black and white makeup. They've had various directors attached to the project as well, who have all left for a multitude of reasons. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo is the latest and  most likely to stay. While I like him and he would surely do a decent job, I'm still violently opposed.

The Crow is a legendary picture in which all the stars aligned  and an epic was born. First, there is the source material. Created from the ashes of James O'Barr's eight year labor of grief to try and overcome the death of his fiancee, The Crow is the ultimate story of the power of love. David Show and John Shirley took this incredible series and turned it into an unforgettable screenplay. Eric Draven, the young rocker murdered along with his fiancee, crosses back to the world of the living on the wings of a crow to take revenge on the thugs who killed them. Brandon Lee, a rising young star was chosen to play Draven and gave the performance of his career. It was sadly to be his last as an on set accident took his life with just eight days left to shoot. Director Alex Proyas, with the blessing of Lee's mother and fiancee, finished the film and it became a dedication to Brandon's life. The rest of the cast, which includes some stellar character actors like Michael Wincott, Tony Todd and Ernie Hudson, is an assemblage of perfection. Each one of them became their characters.

A film  like this required a soundtrack that was second to none and Graeme Revell delivered in spades. The haunting music captured the essence of Eric's post-industrial, hard scrabble world and included bands who literally defined that period of time: Stone Temple Pilots, The Cure, Rage Against the Machine, Nine Inch Nails, The Jesus and Mary Chain and Pantera to name but a few. I can't imagine another soundtrack other than this one. Who would they get now? Danny Elfman? Black Keys? Not.

To add even more storied history to this film, after Lee's death, Paramount Pictures pulled out, leaving the cast and crew high and dry. Miramax then stepped in and ponied up a further eight million dollars to complete the picture. Indeed, The Crow is more than a film, it is both epic and epitaph, a movie that should never, ever be remade.

Brandon Lee is forever Eric Draven.

Hanna : A Teenaged Badass Bitch

Yes, I finally, FINALLY watched Hanna with my friend and her daughter. I know it's only been out on DVD for a million years or so, but I'm putting in my two cents worth anyway. We LOVED this movie! And I was slap-happy to see a young movie heroine worthy of being called a heroine. My friend and I believe that Hanna actually broke G's heretofore disturbing fascination with Bella Swan. She said to me after the movie that she liked how Hanna saved herself and did her own butt-kicking because Bella always lets Edward and Jacob do it for her. How's that for pre-teen logic? It brought a tear to this ardent feminist's eye, I tell you.

I digress.

From opening sequence to final credit roll, Hanna was an ace flick. Saoirse Ronan is seriously freakin' talented. She rocked it as Hanna Heller, a girl who is the sole survivor of a CIA experiment and raised in the deep woods of Finland by her father to be a multi-lingual assassin. Hanna is intelligent, quick-thinking, fast on her feet and hellagood with weapons. She made me think of a cross between two of Joss Whedon's most famous badass bitches, Buffy and Zoe. If I were the parent of a young girl, Hanna would definitely be a character I would want her to like and pretend to be while at play.

This movie is one hell of a rush, too. There are very few slow parts and these serve as an intriguing counterpoint to all the breath-stealing action. Here we get to know Hanna and watch her figure out how to grow up. I loved the family she hooked up with. Olivia Williams and Jason Flemyng are superb as Rachel and Sebastien, a couple on a road trip with their two kids. Jessica Barden plays their daughter, Sophie. She is wise-cracking with attitude to spare and helps Hanna navigate the realm of teenagers. I just have to say that I think it is awesome that Hanna's first kiss comes with Sophie and not with the two boys they had hooked up with. G asked her mom and me if girls could kiss other girls like that for real and our answer was a resounding yes they absolutely can. And boys can kiss boys, too.

Cate Blanchett creates a whole new level of bitch in this film as Marissa Weigler, the CIA agent who oversaw the experimental medical program that Hanna's mother had belonged to. She has no hesitation in killing anyone who gets in her way and screws people over left and right, lying and using whatever means necessary to get what she wants. And in this case that is Hanna and her father dead. Eric Bana shows another side of his talent as the scientist, Erik Heller, who tried to right a serious wrong by helping Hanna's mother escape, then raising her daughter to have mad survival skills.

Everything about this movie was fantastic. From the stellar characters and Joe Wright's fierce direction to the outstanding screenplay by David Farr and Seth Lochhead, Hanna is an epic film. For G and all the little girls and teens out there like her, we need more girl-centric action films like this. I am so sick of movies that highlight boys and their adventures with girls, if they appear at all, relegated to playing sidekick or, gag me, love interest. I want a sequel to Hanna. :)

Speaking of more films like Hanna...

Haywire, Haywire, Haywire...Only 8 more weeks until Gina Carano stars as a black ops super soldier out for revenge. Until then, here's to my badass bitches out there and more books and movies about them.

**Photo on right appears courtesy of Alex Bailey/Focus Features

TV's Badass Bitches: Gemma Teller-Morrow

It's time to get back to my ladies, the television badass bitches. And to me there are no bigger bitches than Gemma Teller-Morrow on Sons of Anarchy. If you do not watch this show, start right now, this minute. It is Hamlet meets Hell's Angels and all the twists, turns, back stabs and shootouts in between. You'll find it on F/X on Tuesday nights @9PM CST.

Gemma is played to perfection by the amazing Katy Sagal. Peg Bundy no longer lives here, let me tell you. I should hate this show because it is so misogynistic at times, but with a female lead like Gemma, it's impossible. This characters is one of the strongest and smartest written for a woman on television. Gemma is the matriarch and queen bitch of SAMCRO (Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club Redwood Original). Her husband, Clay Morrow, is the president and a founding member while her son, Jax Teller, is the heir to the club. She is beloved by all the club members and she rules them with equal parts love and iron-fisted ass kicking. To Gemma there is nothing more important than her family and the club. She will do anything, I mean we're talking anything, to protect them, even from themselves.

The Lowdown on Gemma

She's got a killer 'tude and a mouth that would make a hardened prisoner blush. Gemma pulls no punches, she delivers them blow after blow. She takes scheming to new lows, a brilliant strategist who sizes people up accurately in a millisecond. Her tongue cuts fast and deep, making hulking bikers and racist drug dealers go slinking away, testicles in hand. She's not afraid to pull a gun when necessary and do things like shoot up a porn star's car or threaten an ATF agent. She'll even knock a bitch out with a skateboard. There's nothing she can't handle and acts as cleaning crew when her men have fucked up. Gemma even finds time to run community service projects for the town of Charming. Bet your Homeowners Association President was never like her.

Favorite Gemma-isms

"Stop talking. My Martha Stewart's wearing thin."

"You should have thought of that before your dick went on a cheerleader hunt."

"Nobody gets in the way of me taking care of my family. Especially my conscience."


Here's Gemma in action thanks to the You Tube stylings of HPfane777

Badass Bitches Part Deux

For those of us dying for Haywire to hit the bigs, our appetite for badass bitches will be whetted on August 26 when Colombiana, starring Zoe Saldana as an assassin hits theaters. It's going to be one hell of a ride. Check out this wild trailer.



Zoe plays a woman raised to be a contract killer after witnessing the brutal murder of her parents. A common theme, but it's with a chick so I am totally on board. Olivier Megaton directs this Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen co-written slice of late summer awesomeness. And you thought Zoe was badass in Avatar. She whips out the big guns this time. No bows, arrows and giant blue pigeons to get in the way.

Hell To The Yeah, This Is One Badass Bitch

I want to run screaming through the streets "At last, at last, at last..." You all know I love ass-kicking females and have longed, longed to see a woman on screen who can go balls to the wall with men. Thanks to Cathy at Buzz's Cafe, I have seen the trailer for what is sure to become one of my favorite films of all time, Haywire. Take a look at this awesomely spectacular trailer.




Is Mallory Kane badass or what? You can see my satisfied smile all the way to Hollywood, baby. This is what I'm talking about. Take that all you antiquated jackasses who think women can't kill unless motivated by kids or love. And that they only resort to poison or guns.

Steven Soderbergh directs this Lem Dobbs screenplay and he has cast MMA star Gina Carano as Mallory, a black ops super soldier out for revenge after her handlers betray her. The stellar cast also includes Ewan MacGregor, Michael Douglas, Bill Paxton, Antonio Banderas, Channing Tatum and Michael Fassbender. It hits theater January 20 and I, for one, will be first in freakin' line.

It should be interesting to see how this performs during the cinematic dead zone. If it blows the audiences away like 300, maybe DC will take note and make Gina Wonder Woman. I can only hope. It would fantastic to see my childhood hero kicking ass like this.

TV's Bad Ass Bitches: Fiona Glenanne

This is a loving tribute to my ultimate bad ass chick on TV right now. If you all are not tuning in to Burn Notice, do so immediately. The new season starts on the USA Network on Thursday, June 23 at 9 EST. Fiona is the partner/lover of burned spy Michael Weston and she is one bitch you do not ever want to mess with. I thank the Holiest of the Holies and The Universe that the writers saw fit to create such an outstanding female character.

Portrayed by the super-talented Gabrielle Anwar, Fiona's got a resume and skill set that would make 007 jealous. A former provisional IRA operative, she's an illegal arms dealer, an unlicensed bounty hunter and explosives expert. She shoots first, asks questions later and isn't afraid to blow down the doors with her homemade goodies.

A brilliant strategist, she also handles herself quite nicely in hand to hand and can pick locks better than most highly skilled thieves. She's a looker too, using her sexiness as yet another weapon and can sometimes be found ramming one of her expensive high heels down the throat of an uncooperative contact.

The Lowdown on Fi...

Her weapons of choice are a stainless steel Walther PPK 7.65mm, a two-tone Heckler & Koch USP 9mm Para and her Colt .45 ACP M1911, but she also uses various shotguns. Her other favorite is a block of C-4. It's versatile and you can carry it in a small handbag for those unexpected situations.

She has soft spot for kids and will incinerate the bones of child abusers.

She absolutely hates being told what to do, which is why she is no longer with the IRA.

She loves guns, clothes explosives and shoes in equal measure.

Bomb making is foreplay.

Favorite Fiona Quotes:

"In my experience, if something seems too good, best to shoot it just in case."

"Use a golf club next time. Greater force to a smaller area."

"Nothing turns a woman on so much as when something goes boom."

"Of course the tactical support I'm giving will cost you. I need new shoes."

"I'm better at buying guns than I am buying shoes and I'm really good at buying shoes."

"I'll behave...Maybe."

Here is a look at Fiona in action. Love the work that Chrissy and Toddy aka fartarse83 did here. This is the perfect song for Fiona, My Chick Bad by Ludacriss and Nicki Minaj