Come on and join author Melissa Bradley as she sets off on her latest adventure...


If you are not 18, please exit stage left. While there is normally nothing naughty here, I do write and review erotica so there are links to spicy stuff and the occasional heated excerpt.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Battle Los Angeles: I Finally Saw It!

Yep, I finally saw Battle Los Angeles last night and felt liked I needed to share my opinion. I know, I can hear all the comments right now."It's about time, Mel. Jeez you're only a million years behind the rest of the planet. What kind of film blogger are you?" All right already, here we go...

I liked this. The dialogue was certainly cheestastic and oh hell yeah some of the situations were totally cliche to the core. I mean seriously, how many times have we seen the background guy pull a rifle at the last second and shoot the enemy/monster only to be fatally wounded? About a billion. And how many times have we seen the hero no one trusts have the troops go into hell with him at the last because he's finally earned their respect? So many times it could be a drinking game. But it worked here for me. Maybe I was feeling a little nostalgic for ID4, my favorite alien invasion movie of all time, but this was a fun ride from start to finish.

The movie opens kind of slow with trying to fit in a brief background of as many characters as possible. I've always wondered why directors are allowed to do this in movies. I mean, I've always been told as a writer that the background story stays out of the book unless it's germane to the plot. It's not important here either. I really didn't need to know that this guy's wife is pregnant and that guy's getting married and blah, blah,blah...Just get to the fucking aliens.

Once the invasion commences the ride begins. I love how they all came crashing down in big ships that looked like meteors. The battle sequences with the extraterrestrial forces were pretty cool. The shaky camera work made me think of Saving Private Ryan. I felt like I was right there fighting with those soldiers. The impact of the rapid fire shots and explosions went right through me. Even the scenes where the troops are readying for battle are pretty cool.

One of my very favorite things about this movie is Michelle Rodriguez. She is a total badass, rockin' the fatigues and rifle. I loved her character. I found her smart, tough and completely believable. And there was no overt sexual tension with the other guys. Thank God. Roles like this are what young girls need to see. Her fellow soldiers here were all kind of cliched, but they managed to balance out those cliches with some unexpected reactions. No one was a complete dick, no one was a complete frightened rabbit.

Then there's Aaron Eckhart. His character was a bit stock, but he pulled it off. He was good at not just saying "Fuck it!" then taking over like some John Wayne asshole. He was very conscious of the chain of command and the importance of having one leader on the field. I found myself a bit frustrated that he didn't just haul off and bitch slap the panicking lieutenant. But that's just me.

And, and...I am so goddamned happy the civilians to be rescued were not too-stupid-to-live party girls and frat rats like those vapid morons in Cloverfield. These people were kids, kind of cliche, but okay, a vet and a young father. They reacted like normal people under attack, but they did not freak out and do something stupid to endanger the lives of everyone else. Bonus.

Yeah, I wish I could have known more about the aliens and the script had a few plot holes that needed tweaking. Plus, I wish they would have had a more concrete ending. I want to know that we win for sure, I need closure. I mean I never get it in real life so why can't I have it in my movies? Overall I had a hellagood time and if you want a great popcorn flick for a weekend this is it.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A Little Bit Of This...A Little Bit Of That

Today is a day for sharing. First, I'm over at author Raine Delight's blog today. Come on over and check it out. Next, I'd like to thank the amazing and awesome Siv Maria over at Been There, Done That has gifted yours truly the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award. This is just too cool and I am honored. Thank you Siv, you are an awesome new friend whose blog I love very much.

Now to officially accept, here are seven random tidbits about me that I don't think I've mentioned before.

My nickname is Moe. Why? Well, because once upon a time someone thought my middle name Mae was actually Moe as in Moe Howard from the Three Stooges. Try living that one down in an auditorium full of people. I have, of course, become cool with this and my nephews and their friends all call me Auntie Moe.

I once had a pet chinchilla. She was the most adorable companion ever.

I hold the Bradley family land speed record for a hasty trip from Chicago to South Bend IN for the Notre Dame-Navy football game. 95-100 mph the entire way. And no Indiana State Troopers. Yay! or should that be Whew!

I once tried to go into Bachelor Grove cemetery, but chickened out at the No Trespassing sign. It is one of the most haunted cemeteries in America.

I have a scar by my eyebrow from when my brother threw a chunk of firewood at me while playing The Incredible Hulk. I was not the Hulk.

The worst fall I ever had came in front of my doctor's office. I was walking along, then went airborne. I crashed onto my face and stomach. My glasses flew off, my backpack spilled and about 10 people came to help me. I also managed to rip my jeans. The reason for my fall? My boots got stuck in the metal grate and my momentum carried me right out of them. The funny part was they were stuck in my stride. The painful part...I was purple from chin to stomach, both breasts, too.

I'm embarrassed to say I did not get my drivers license until I was 24. Why? No car. In my hood, the CTA is more convenient. And when I lived on the North Side of Chicago, I had two buses and an L stop within one block of my place.

Okay, now that you know these rather odd little things about me, let me go on to give you some very cool news. I am starting a weekly Monday thing called Mel's Imaginarians. This is for all you out there who have something to share. I will have a little box up in the right hand corner and in it I will promo your news and happenings. So if you have something you want to share, email me the deets and links at melbwritesATgmailDOTcom.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

In Desperate Need Of Inspiration

Okay, so I have three stories that I have to get finished, one by September 1, and I am feeling utterly and completely uninspired. Every time I sit down then open my document, my mind goes blank and my imagination shuts down. I'm not panicking, yet. I just do not know what to do. My Muse ran away and I don't know where to find her.

So I'm putting out a call for help to all my writer friends and blogging buddies out there, what do you do to recover your inspiration. Do you just write or work through it? Take yourself on an artist date? Do something else creatively and hope that your imagination catches fire? I have notes, but unfortunately I am a panster so there are no detailed outlines concerning the plot. I'm probably going to have to change that real quick. However, it's not even really the writing of the story, it's more like getting inspired to start.

I am thunking my head against my desk and I'm getting a big fat bruise right above my brows. I need some real help, so if you have any ideas, please, please feel free to share. I would very much appreciate it.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Summer of '79

In honor of my favorite film this summer, Super 8, I am taking a trip in the Way Back Machine to the Summer of '79...

Being 9 years old...Riding around on Henry Stormin's gold Harley Fat Boy, that big engine purring right through me.

Rolling up to the Toot & Tell 'Em Drive In to get an ice cold bottle of Pepsi. There was nothing like those big glass bottles, the condensation dripping on my fingers as that cold liquid slid down my throat.

4th of July fireworks on the golf course courtesy of the Pana, Illinois Volunteer Fire Department

Hanging out on the dock of Uncle Max's lake cabin and being told that the catfish would eat my toes if I dangled my feet in the water.

Eating ice cream from the Dairy Queen in the back of cousin Charles' 1970 El Camino, 8 track blaring Led Zeppelin, The Knack, Thin Lizzy, T-Rex and Ted Nugent and Donna Summer when Deena was with us.

Here are some of my favorite songs from back then...

Don't Bring Me Down by ELO

Hot Stuff by Donna Summer

My Sharona by the Knack

Mississippi Queen by Mountain

Saturday, June 18, 2011

3-D: The Rant

I'm baaacckk!!! With a vengeance of course. Thank you all so much for bearing with me as I was completely discombobulated and sick and just out of sorts. You left me the most wonderful, heart-warming comments that really cheered me and helped see me through to the end of this period of utter insanity. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I appreciate each and every one of you out there.

Now, on with my rant. I am taking my faithful young sidekick aka my eldest nephew, to see The Green Lantern and we are so NOT doing the 3-D version. I have a whole list of complaints about this. I thought I might do a bullet point, but then realized why make a list, when I can give you the full snark.

First of all, 3-D is a total money suck for little extra gratification. I mean on top of the already outrageous, sign-over-a-kidney ticket prices, theaters charge an additional 3-5 dollars. WTF? And what exactly are they charging this for? The special f/x? The accompanying headache and nausea?

I mentioned before that I don't need a foot or a fist coming at me to know someone is getting his or her ass kicked. Nor do I need random shit like knife blades, shattered glass and rushing water flying at me, hoping to make me duck, twist, squirm or flinch. Because yeah, my reality will somehow slip and I'll "think" I'm right there in the film. Uh Huh and the monster in my closet is real.

Furthermore, filmmakers use 3-D like poor cake decorators use frosting. They think they can cover up the slow spots, lack of pacing and general fucktardedness of their movie by shellacking it over with dazzling f/x. No, they can't. Granted, some can get away with an f/x laden thin script, but the cracks will show and those sugar flowers will fall off.

And did I mention the headache and nausea? Yeah, every time I watch a movie in 3-D, I leave feeling sick. All that shit rushing at me, the tripped out lighting and whatever else they use messes, with my eyes and screws with my brain. I thought I was going to up chuck my Sno-Caps after I saw Avatar.

Finally, we have the glasses themselves. Remember those old cardboard blue lens, red lens things you could get out of a cereal box? These things have come up in the world, but they are still cheaper than dollar store earrings. Only now, they are designed to be worn by toddlers with perfect vision or contact lenses. I feel like I'm being punished Harrison Bergeron style for having bad eyes and a big head.

This is why I will forever be a 2-D girl. What about you? Do like, love or are you just meh about 3-D?

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

It's Crazy, I Tell You

It's amazing how you're rolling along , then blammo! Out of nowhere everything changes. Yeah, so my life has just been on whirlwind of crazy lately and I have not been getting around the blogosphere or posting like I want. Thank you all for still coming around, leaving comments and just being awesome supporters. I promise I will be back up and running like normal in the very near future.

So just what the heck has been going on? Well, I need to pay bills and I take the occasional temp assignment to help out. This last one well, I have no computer access at all, I'm just buried in a file room for 8 hours a day. I leave my house 7AM and don't return til 7PM so I'm pretty brain dead and wiped out. I don't even know what day it is sometimes. LOL

Then, this past weekend I had to have emergency dental surgery because of a highly infected tooth. Apparently it had been very sly in developing because I didn't have any real pain until Friday when wham! All of a sudden I looked like a human pufferfish. They could not save it and the infection was so bad that I am now on massive doses of antibiotics. The good news is my face no longer looks like I have a pillow in my mouth.

I have some awesome fiction reviews coming up, authors you need to check out asap, plus I have some rants, odds n ends and more movies that I hated and regret sincerely paying to see. Hope you all have a great day!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

TV's Bad Ass Bitches: Fiona Glenanne

This is a loving tribute to my ultimate bad ass chick on TV right now. If you all are not tuning in to Burn Notice, do so immediately. The new season starts on the USA Network on Thursday, June 23 at 9 EST. Fiona is the partner/lover of burned spy Michael Weston and she is one bitch you do not ever want to mess with. I thank the Holiest of the Holies and The Universe that the writers saw fit to create such an outstanding female character.

Portrayed by the super-talented Gabrielle Anwar, Fiona's got a resume and skill set that would make 007 jealous. A former provisional IRA operative, she's an illegal arms dealer, an unlicensed bounty hunter and explosives expert. She shoots first, asks questions later and isn't afraid to blow down the doors with her homemade goodies.

A brilliant strategist, she also handles herself quite nicely in hand to hand and can pick locks better than most highly skilled thieves. She's a looker too, using her sexiness as yet another weapon and can sometimes be found ramming one of her expensive high heels down the throat of an uncooperative contact.

The Lowdown on Fi...

Her weapons of choice are a stainless steel Walther PPK 7.65mm, a two-tone Heckler & Koch USP 9mm Para and her Colt .45 ACP M1911, but she also uses various shotguns. Her other favorite is a block of C-4. It's versatile and you can carry it in a small handbag for those unexpected situations.

She has soft spot for kids and will incinerate the bones of child abusers.

She absolutely hates being told what to do, which is why she is no longer with the IRA.

She loves guns, clothes explosives and shoes in equal measure.

Bomb making is foreplay.

Favorite Fiona Quotes:

"In my experience, if something seems too good, best to shoot it just in case."

"Use a golf club next time. Greater force to a smaller area."

"Nothing turns a woman on so much as when something goes boom."

"Of course the tactical support I'm giving will cost you. I need new shoes."

"I'm better at buying guns than I am buying shoes and I'm really good at buying shoes."

"I'll behave...Maybe."

Here is a look at Fiona in action. Love the work that Chrissy and Toddy aka fartarse83 did here. This is the perfect song for Fiona, My Chick Bad by Ludacriss and Nicki Minaj

Sunday, June 5, 2011

It's All Fun And Games Blogfest

Oh Captain, my captain, Alex J. Cavanaugh is hosting a really fun blogfest all about our fave games, called appropriately Shall We Play A Game? Being a bit of a gamester, I could not resist. Scroll down to the bottom of the page to see the other participants and see what games we like to play board, video, mind and otherwise. ;)

God do I love to bowl. I am not very good, but I have a hellagood time at the lanes. I have elaborate moves that would make ol' twinkle-toes Fred Flinstone jealous. I go as often as I can and it is a wonder my toes haven't fallen off from all the rented shoes I've exposed them to. My fingers, too, from all those house balls. Still, I can't help myself.

I even play Wii bowling and gleefully crush my nephews.


I have been addicted to this game since it first appeared way back when. I can't get enough of Blinky and crew. Do not ever come between me and this game when I am at level holy-shit-they're-moving-too-fast and I'm trying to get to the pellet that will allow me to eat the ghosts. I just might rip your throat out ala Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse.

Trivial Pursuit

I love trivia and this game has been feeding my need for the last two decades. I love knowing obscure facts and it makes me a very interesting party guest. Or a big giant nerd depending on your interpretation. What I'm saying is my head is a font of useless information. Like did you know that the 1960's series Lost In Space was set in 1997? Al Capone was called Snorky by his closest friends?

I could go on, but my geek is showing and I do want you to come back again. Have a great time visiting the other blogs.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Movies I Hate & Wish I'd Never Paid To See Part 4

Time for another edition of my most hated movies. Oh this one puts the "ucks" in sucks and makes it a six syllable word.

Random Hearts

I was fooled by this one to Nth degree and my stomach still revolts every time I think about it. I still don't understand what the hell happened with this flick. I loved the book, it had Sydney Pollack directing and it starred Harrison Ford and Kristen Scott Thomas. Indiana Jones for cripes sake! It should have been a great movie. But you know what they say about something that looks good on paper...

In reality it's a steaming pile of rhinoceros crud.

"He'll stop at nothing to find the truth." This is the big tagline. Hint: He stopped on page one and didn't get off his lazy ass. Billed as a thriller, the action never starts. I was tempted to hammer nails into my arms just to get something going.

Harrison and Kristen have all the spark of bread pudding and the love scenes between them are like watching two praying mantises hump on Animal Planet, awkward and creepy. And she doesn't even devour him afterwards to complete the twisted cycle and give this film some action.

Honestly, these two were so bad, they made Edward from Twilight look like an accomplished thespian. There wasn't much helping the script either. The writing had all the depth of a Jersey Shore episode and the dialogue could be marketed as a sleep aid. I left the theater feeling like I'd been fucked over more times than Charlie Sheen's ex-wives.