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If you are not 18, please exit stage left. While there is normally nothing naughty here, I do write and review erotica so there are links to spicy stuff and the occasional heated excerpt.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I'm Baaaack...Insecure Writer's Support Group

I'm back, I'm back, I'm back!!!! I really hated being away from you all and missed you something fierce, but the good news is I'm DONE with my story. I'll share the pertinent details with you very soon. Lots of exciting things are planned for this month and there will be tons more news coming soon. I'm still discombobulated so bear with me.

I am very excited to be a part of Captain Ninja Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group. This is where we writers bare our souls and give a peek into our crazed craniums. We'll be talking about our struggles, insecurities, fears, hopes, breakthroughs, as well as sharing words of encouragement. There will be posts on the first Wednesday of every month for the group.

Today, I want to talk about one of my biggest fears in writing and that is my fear of my work not being good enough. I love to write, to tell stories, but when I am in the midst of working on something new, I reach this point where the words won't flow. I suddenly am overwhelmed with thoughts of "this story sucks," "what made you think you could ever write, you big loser" and I physically cannot write a word.

It's like going from finding golden nuggets in a river with a pan to having to take a pick ax to solid rock and getting nothing but rock with maybe a few flecks of gold. I hate every syllable, I get headaches, want to vomit and I feel trapped. My production level drops to the point where it will take me hours to produce a paragraph. Part of the reason I took a hiatus from the blogging was because I was having a serious breakdown over this story and I was making myself horribly ill. The day that I announced my hiatus, I had a migraine of epic proportions and could barely see to type.

Now that the thing is done, I am on pins and needles waiting to see what my editor will think. Will she hate it? Will I have to make a million revisions? This is story is different from anything I've ever written because for the first time, my main characters are gay. I wanted to write something to honor some very special friends. Did I do the characters justice? Will my friends like the story?

All these things crash around in my brain like a psychotic bowler every single time I write a story and I don't foresee it going away any time soon. How do you all deal with insecurities and fears?

Here are the other participants in the Insecure Writers Support Group and I encourage you to visit these amazing people. Pass along some blog love to them and you'll take away a lot from the experience. Thanks Alex!


  1. So nice to have you back again, I have missed you. Congrats on finishing your story. We all wonder if "they" will like what we have written...Do you like? that is what is important isn't it?

  2. Well, hello, Dolly, it's nice to see you back where you belong :)
    I'm sure your new story will be great since I know how much love and effort you put in it!

  3. this was such a brilliant idea of Alex's because it's nice to know other writers worry that their story isn't good enough and that the writing stops because of that. Thank you. And congrats on finishing yours.

  4. I turn to my writer friends, who understand all too well about these insecurities. Surrounding myself with like-minded people actually gives me the courage to persevere despite it all.

    Glad you're back! You did the right thing by taking a hiatus. You've got to make sure to take care of yourself. Just a little foreshadowing of what is to come with my Thursday post...

  5. Yea! You're back. Missed you, Melissa.

    I go through the 'this whole thing sucks' phase, too. I have bouts of that through the whole creation process. So, you're hardly alone in that fear.

    Glad you have lots of great news to share with us. Can't wait to hear it. I'm taking guest posts on my blog now if you're ever interested. :D

  6. Glad you're back!
    I've read your blog posts and movie reviews - you do not suck. Think positive. (And no, not that you positively suck.)

  7. I think we all want to do our characters justice--and if you're writing as a tribute to friends, it seems daunting to do that. But I've always found that the sentiment is what counts, and most people appreciate that more than the mechanics.

  8. I could really relate to this post, because I have the same fear that nothing I write is any good. I think it's because I can still see that gap between what I write and what I want to write and I haven't yet figured out how to bridge the distance. Just keep writing I suppose.

    Congrats on getting the work done. That is good news!

  9. I generally turn to my critique partners when I'm bubbling with anxiety. When it's in full swing, I nice relaxing bubble bath or time in the hot tub or a margarita.

  10. I personally just close my eyes and keep typing/writing until the feeling passes... just this past weekend, I was looking over a WIP and thought, "Damn! That's good!" and then today I was at the opposite end of the spectrum.

    Glad you're back...congrats on being DONE with the story.

  11. i get that way too... maybe we all do from time to time.
    i'm excited for you to tackle a novel with gay mc's. i'm beginning to suspect that one of the main characters in my current wip is bi, but he's being awful shy about telling me the truth. i was already worried about how genuine i was pulling off writing so close to a male perspective (2 actually) but now... i worry that my character will end up phony. but i guess i can only write him as he tells me to write him...

  12. Welcome back!
    That fear of not being good enough is an all too familiar fear. How do I deal with it? I remember how much I enjoy writing and I write anyway. Plus, almost anything can be fixed.

  13. Welcome back Mel! It's been quiet around the blogosphere without you...yeah, too quiet...

    But thrilled to have you back, and I'm sure your latest rocks, because you bring some great ingredients to the table when you write! How's that for mixing some metaphors?

    Huzzah! MB!

  14. Welcome back; I missed you! You have an amazing way of expressing your view~ Congrats on finishing!!! I am anxious to hear more. I bet you did your friends proud, try to enJOY the fact you are done for a bit. Worry n' anxiety can wait a few days ;D
    I love all the honesty, everyone is sharing! Can't wait to hear how it all turns out~

  15. Welcome back :D
    I think that, so long as you write the book that you want to read, then others will follow. I think that you'd be the harshest critic of your own work at this stage, so if you're happy with it, then you've got no worries.

  16. Welcome back! I've been there before, not to the point of being ill, but more to the point of, "Screw it, this sucks and I'm just kidding myself. I'm not a writer!"
    You are your own worst critic. Always will be, but be determined to squash that inner voice that does nothing but belittle you. You can do it!

  17. My advice would be to find a single paragraph in your favourite book, and it'll probably be quite ordinary, out of context. It's the whole that matters.

  18. Glad that you're back, Mel!
    Just think positive and I hope all the best for your new story.

  19. Hi Melissa,

    Welcome back! I did miss you. I am sorry to hear about how stressful that writing can be for you sometimes.

    I look forward to reading some of the other peoples blogs on your list.

    I'm sure that your story came out spectacular, and that your friends will tell you the same.

    Take care,

    Kathy M.


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