It's Monday...

Gawd, I am soooo happy it's Monday. Why, in the name of all that's holy, is this true? Well, my weekend could qualify as a giant crazy disaster. The kind of weekend that leaves you screaming and tearing your hair out as you gas up the chainsaw to destroy everything in your path.

It started on Friday. I got a ride home a very nice lady I just started working with and my left over olive salad leaked onto the backseat of her car. I wanted her to stay so I could clean it, but that seemed weird. She was great, kept telling me don't worry, but yeah well...awkward. Now I have to see her at work this morning. Ugh!

Saturday night, my sister and I went to friend's house on the North Side, which is the polar opposite of where we live in Chicago. We started the drive home at about 11PM. We cruised along for about five minutes when the transmission light blinked, then everything crapped out. Stranded on Sheridan Road. Yay! And being a Saturday night, we could get a hold of no one to come and get us. At least anyone who would have been sober enough at this point. An our later, the tow truck guy arrived, and he offered to give us a ride, but his truck was rather small. Scratch that, it was like Hot Wheels toy truck sized with a single bench seat. With his kid already taking up some space. No way are me AND my sister fitting in there. My sister was the payee insurance holder so she got the remaining life boat seat. You can guess where I'm riding. My conversation with the driver went like this:

Driver to me: "No problem. You can ride in the in the back of the van."
Me: "You mean the van that has to be hooked up with the chains and hook thing and towed?"
Driver: "Exactly. It'll be fine. And since I don't want to lose the van, I'll hook her up good and tight."
Me, heart pounding in my throat as I eye the rust spots on the chains and the big hook thing: "Is that safe?"
Driver with evil smile: "Sure. Just strap in tight and don't move around."
Me, like an idiot: "Umm, okay."

So there I am, white-knuckling the arm rest, praying to Jesus, God, Odin and every other spirit I could think of as we careened down Interstate 90. I fervently hoped that the next bump wouldn't send the van (and me) flying into speeding traffic or off of the very high overpasses. We made it home at about 1:00AM. I kissed the ground as soon as I got out of the van. Of course, I then had to walk the six blocks to my house. But, I stuck to the shadows like any smart hood rat. Because yeah, those lighted areas, only tend to point you out as bait for the bad guys.

My weekend was not finished with those episodes, oh no, siree. Yesterday was a lot of little problems that snow-balled and resulted in me wasting a lot of time doing stupid things. Arrgh!!

On the other hand, I did get to see the season finale of Walking Dead and it was total kick-ass. Those first twenty minutes or so had me sitting at my TV, jaw agape. However, I just have to say that more than ever, I want to beat the crap out of Rick's wife, Laurie, Miss "The men have it handled" and ring the dinner bell for the walkers.

What's Your Number?

What's Your Number? was an all right little rom com that I unexpectedly enjoyed. Anna Faris and Chris Evans had great chemistry and well Chris was wearing nothing more than a towel on several occasions. Rawr!

I was however, more intrigued by the subject matter. How many sex partners does it take before one (that one being a woman) is considered a slut? Sex and the City did a similar themed episode involving Miranda having to track back her partners. In this film, Faris' Ally reads a magazine article which says that the average woman will have at most 4 to 5 sex partners with a very few going as high as 10. She immediately starts writing down all her partners and worries when that number hits 19. Why? Well, her friends, for one, are very sniping and close-minded. One of them admits to eight partners and the other three start calling her a slut and a whore. You see these bitches are all 4 or lower and proud of their lack of experience. Proud, scratch that, make it smug that they've been good girls. So, of course they are appalled that poor Ally has had 19 partners. What a whore!

An ardent feminist, I could not take this lying down. Why do we women look down on our sisters for enjoying themselves? Hell, why do we look down on ourselves for going heels to Jesus whenever the fancy strikes? Seriously, this is 2012. I don't remember an 11th Commandment that reads "Woman, thou shalt have at most four sex partners in thy lifetime and one of them better be your husband."

Women are the nastiest bitches on the planet when it comes to judging our fellow females. We are murderous if our friends or co-workers go over some magical good girl sex number. We are first in line to condemn and throwdown the epithets slut and whore. Hell, if our current man cheats, we blame the other woman.

And the media helps lead the charge. The article in the film may have been fictional, but I have seen at least thirty similar titled features in the last year alone. I've even read a few and they are quite stuffy in their opinions about women and the mythical perfect number of sex partners. For the most part, according to these articles, written by other women, mind you, women do not enjoy sex for sex unless it's with a partner they trust and care about. That women who sleep around with random guys somehow have low self-esteem. Although, the more enlightened allow for "that unexpected encounter." Really?

Then there's the "How Slutty Are You?" quizzes that crop up. Women read these and go crazy. I have good friends, normal, intelligent women who go bonkers when they think about their sex life and worry about how many partners they've had. It's scary to listen to them run on and stress over what their current guy will think if he finds out, my gawd, that they've had more than 5 partners. Or even engaged in a little kink. Remember Chasing Amy when Ben Affleck finds out Amy was with two guys? Talk about epic temper tantrum.

I seriously have had guy friends who have freaked the hell out when they found out the woman they had been dating had lots of partners. I asked one of them, what was wrong with his new lady having had 12 partners. He himself had had well over 20. You know what he said? "It's different for a guy." ROTFLOL!!! I, of course, caved in his skull with the nearest blunt object for that tired, chauvanistic response. I will allow that men and women think about sex in different terms, but come on, if you're going to have a dozen partners, why shouldn't your woman? Do guys really think that every woman they have sex with, they're only like one of four total partners for her in her lifetime? That's nuts.

I am of the mind that how many times someone does the horizontal mambo is no one's business but their own. And there is no slutbag number either. It's ridiculous and unenlightened. Sex is part of the human condition. Whether you prefer it with a caring partner, a random pick up, a friend with benefits...It's a good time, so let's stop worrying.

TGIF

It's the end of the week and I am slap happy. It's been a while since I've been this enthusiastic about a weekend, but there you go. I'm planning on hanging with some friends, go to my writers group and pack for my big move on April 14. I do not want to be one of those up all night, last minute packers. I'm also going to be purging things. Donating clothes, books and other things I don't need any more.

To kick things off, I want to wish my dear friend George from the awesomely cool Cinemarvellous, a huge Happy Birthday. He rocks and always has my back. Plus, he's got some of the best reviews around.

For my You Should Know Friday, I want to spotlight Sloane Taylor, a writer friend of mine who is returning to the blog scene. She is launching her blog, Sloane Taylor. She will be blogging twice a week, Mondays and Wednesdays, with Monday being a writing and whatever strikes her fancy day. Wednesdays are What's Cookin' days as Sloane is a terrific chef. Best of all, she includes recipes for the entire meal, not just a dish or two. She has a fabulous menu up right now for eye of round roast. I'm definitely going to be bribing my sister into cooking this as I prefer batting clean up and try not to do anything with food other than eat it. She is a fabulous writer, too. One of my favorites. Go check out her amazing website as well.

So have a terrific weekend, my friends. At some point, I'll be hoisting a good beer or margarita and one of them will most definitely be to all of you. You Imaginarians are the Best!

11 Random Questions And Some Fun News

Good Afternoon!! I should have posted this earlier in the day, but since I had today off, I elected to go to bed a it early and sleep a little later. I'm starting off with some fun news. It's Cherie Reich's birthday today and she is celebrating by giving al of us the present. Her new novella, Defying Gravity, is a free download today only over at Amazon. So go snap up a copy and spread the word about this amazing space fantasy romance story. Cherie is also making the final stop of her blog tour over at the awesome Christine Rain's blog today. Whoo Hoo!!

You remember yesterday when I mentioned that crazy cool writer and fellow blogger Julie over at Gypsy In My Soul asked me to answer 11 random questions? Well, now I'm going to give you those answers. Cue the Dragnet music...

1. Paper or plastic? Hmm...Depends on where I shop. Sometimes I shop at stores where my own canvas bag is the only option. I do recycle the plastic bags, though.

2. What cartoon do you still secretly enjoy watching? I never gave up cartoons. I still watch loud and proud. Fave oldies are Scooby Doo, Looney Tunes, Galaxy High and Speed Racer. Fave new ones are Spongebob Squarepants, Phineas and Ferb and Kick Buttowski.

3. If you could pick up an instrument and immediately know how to play, what instrument would you choose? Electric guitar. I have always longed to be lead axe in a hard rock band. Can you see me rockin' out on stage ala Joan Jett, Joe Perry or Slash?

4. What is the song that most defines your personality? Hmmm... I don't think I could pick just one, but I do think at this stage in my life after the road I've traveled, it would have to be Bad Reputation by Joan Jett. I'm tired of worrying about what other people think about me and the decisions I make. It's my life after all and I'm the only one who has to live with my choices. Highway to Hell by AC/DC is a close second, though. ;)

5. What is your anger style? I wish I could say something like I have a volcanic temper that erupts when I am angry, but the truth is I'm more of a slow simmer. I don't get angry easily, I tend to let a lot roll off my back, but when I do get mad, I get sarcastic. Nothing like yelling sarcatic insults at the top of my lungs.

6. What do you think will be the downfall of modern society? Reality TV. The shows multiply like cockroaches and every one of us is addicted to at least one. Myself included. Project Runway is my crack.

7. What is the best character name you have come across? I love the names in Tolkien and Rowling. They're so appropriate and roll off the tongue. C.S. Lewis has some good names as well. The worst are the unpronoucable names with no guide to pronunciation.

8. What is your most bizarre beauty ritual? I don't have one. I mean wash my face, shower, condition and color my hair. Nothing too bizarre...All right who found out about the virgins in the basement for my weekly blood bath?

9. What is your favorite scent? I have two, leather and cinnamon. Don't ask me why, but there you go.

10. Could your Significant Other identify you by one body part and if so, which one? Not applicable as I have no Sig Oth right now. I do have a rather fetching tattoo on my shoulder, though.

11. What moment in your life would have won the $10,000 on America's Funniest Home Videos? I have several epic falls that would probably qualify along with a header into a snow embankment that left me drowning in the white stuff and my fat little legs kicking in the air. Keep in mind I was 25 at the time, far past the age where falls in the snow are cute or make people go "aww" and help. No, my friends laughed uproariously at my expense for weeks after.

Now for my turn at 11 questions

1. Do you experience road rage or commuter rage if you don't own a car?
2. What do you do when you're rolling along in an argument and realize you're wrong?
3. Cookies or cookie dough?
4. Movie quote that best sums up your current situation.
5. What pet peeve drives you homicide crazy?
6. What was the most outrageous lie you ever told that someone believed?
7. What guilty pleasure movie or CD people would be shocked you own?
8. When was the last time you went to the movies alone and what did you see?
9. What item did you have to have, but had huge buyer's remorse after purchase?
10. Favorite condiment
11. If you could bar none get away with it, would you have some illegal fun?

Okay and the folks I've chosen for this me-me are...Because I am very curious to know. You can answer none, one or two or all of them, it's up to you.

Rusty at The Blutonian Death Egg
Kelley at Writtled
Jay Noel
Christine Rains
Robyn at Life By Chocolate
Donna Hole
The Botanist at Views From The Bald Patch
Jenny at Pearson Report
Karen G at Coming Down the Mountain
Caledonia Lass at Writings, Musings and Other Such Nonsense

Insecure Writers Support Group

Where did Febraury go? I feel like I've been on Fast Forward, sheesh! So it's time once again for the Insecure Writers Support Group, a fantastic group founded by the amazing Captain Ninja, Alex J. Cavanaugh. We air out our insecurities, triumphs, frustrations and we support and encourage each other. If you're a writer, you need to join, you'll be happy you did.

I wish I could talk about something profound and encouraging today, but the ugly truth is my life has been a real stew of stress and problems of late. I am having a hard time creating anything beyond my blog posts. My writing has gone to shit. I have allowed all of this outside ugliness to fog up the view, narrow my vision. My characters have been left to their own devices and they certainly aren't talking to me anymore. They're mad as hell and I don't blame them. I sit at my computer, day after day, staring at my story and I feel nothing. In all honesty, I want to shut down and go to bed.

I need to get my mojo back. I am hoping this move to a new place will be a start. Taking myself out of the drama around here will ease my stress alot and hopefully improve not only my creativity, but my health too.

What do you do to get your creativity going in times of stress? How do you find it within yourself to write when you feel tapped out?

Stay tuned tomorrow when I answer 11 crazy questions from the awesome Julie at Gypsy in My Soul. You're going to be surprised. And don't forget about Captain Alex's CassaFire tour.

My Teenage Dreams

Okay, so I'm a day late, a dollar short and didn't even get a chance to sign up, I've been so busy, but Vic Caswell, Emily White and Sarah Ahiers hosted the Teenage Heartthrob blogfest yesterday. It was fun to click around when I got home from work and see all the people that made one's teen heart race. I saw Jared Leto, Elijah Wood, Heath Ledger, Christians Bale and Slater, Jonathon Taylor Thomas and a Gwen Stefani. A great group of hotties to be sure.

I was teen in the 80's, yes I am an old bag. So here are my teen hearthrobs from back in the day.

The entire cast of The Outsiders

Oh, My. God. Back in 1983, I was a squealing tween in love with each and every one of these guys. I mean come on, Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Tom Cruise, Ralph Macchio and C. Thomas Howell. Holy Guacamole!

Cary Elwes

He made my heart go thumpity-thump as Wesley in my fave film, Princess Bride as well as the first time I ever saw him opposite Helena Bonham Carter in Lady Jane. Then when he donned the blue in Glory...Hell to the yeah!

Johnny Depp

There are no words. I have loved him since I first saw him in 21 Jump Street and as poor Glenn, who gets killed by his bed in A Nightnare on Elm Street.

Duran Duran

This was my boy band. Simon, Nick, John, Andy and Roger, what a quintet of deliciousness.



So who were some of your crushes? Go here to see more of the participants.

Zombies and Women's Work...Seriously?

I am a huge Walking Dead fan. Huge. This show makes my Sunday nights. I love, love the walkers, the drama... Heck, just about everything. I've also had my share of things I didn't like as well. Namely Laurie and Shane. I just want to smack them upside their heads. Anyway...

During the lates episode, though, my inner feminist was on the war path. This is the zombie apocalypse and two of the lead female characters, Laurie and Andrea, were having this argument about who does what for the group. Then ol'Laurie breaks out with this idea that the men hunt the walkers and the women do the laundry and provide "normalcy" and "stability," that Andrea should stop trying to defend the group and wash some clothes or cook some dinner.

Excuse me?

Oh hell to the no she didn't. I wanted to clock that Neanderthal-minded bitch. This is the post-Apocalypse future and she's running on about women's work. Good God and jelly crackers, are you serious? And she actually said to Andrea that the men had it "handled" and that she would be better off "taking a turn" in the kitchen. My turn in the kitchen would have included me swinging an iron skillet at her head, then staking her ass to the side of the road as zombie snack cakes.

If I'm trying to survive zombies there is no way in hell I am doing someone else's damned laundry and cooking someone else's freakin' food unless we are all (women and men) taking care of this. Partners in survival is my motto. Fellas if you all are on my zombie crew come 2013, you best believe each one of us responsible for our own clothes. I wash nobody's skid marked drawers unless you are under the age of 12 or incapicitated.

I am not saying that in a group there shouldn't be tasks based on skill sets. I get that. But every one in the group needs to know every task in order to survive. I mean, someone here today, could be zombie potluck tomorrow. Now, if Laurie had come at Andrea with the "yo, you're a bad shot so maybe you should practice more and help out with laundry until you get better aim" I would have gone along. But to tell her that the men can take of the walkers and she should cook or wash clothes was W-R-O-N-G on so many levels.

Okay rant over. LOL What do you think? Equal work all the way around? Or am I just a raving lunatic?

Oh, before I forget, today, you can find my short feature, March's Frightening Flicks over Static Multimedia. Have an aweosme weekend!