Screw Valentine's Day

Yep, you read that right. I hate Valentine's Day and all it stands for and I am here to provide the ranty antidote to all the saccharine sweetness today. I am proudly cantankerous and cynical when it comes to Valentine's Day. It's a Hallmark holiday created to sell crap. The constant commercials and signs urging purchases of jewelry, lingerie, cards, weekends away, dinners in restaurants (better make that reservation asap, gentlemen) and other material nonsense. Along with flora that will soon be dead and mountains of candy.

Dating services get into the insanity, along with bars and hotels with their V Day parties, all trying to pair you off with that special someone because God forbid, you don't have a date. Talk about pressure and mass hypnosis.

Hollywood adds to the craziness with their endless cycle of romcoms and romance movies they truck out this time of year. I'm not a big fan of any of them. The Adorable Schlub meets Hot Girl and tries valiantly to win her. Spunky Cute Girl determined to date Oblivious Boy Next Door she's always loved, but could never date and so consoled herself with Also Rans. Or Rich Naive Girl falls desperately for Bad Boy who changes his ways just for her. Blech! Puts me in diabetic coma.

Then we have the "wink, wink" spontaneous proposals on the local news shows and the daytime talk shows focus on wedding planning. Honestly, it is all a racket. Convincing us we have this One Day to show our love and God help us if the presents aren't good enough, the lingerie not sexy enough, the diamonds not big enough. Jewelers even recommend that you spend three months salary on the engagement ring. Come again. If me or my guy are spending three months salary on anything, we better be able to drive it, live in it or take a jet to it.

So no, I am not celebrating Valentine's Day and this year I am putting out a hit on Cupid. Any sightings of that diapered little bastard will be met with force. Instead, I'm getting drunk with my single friends.and watching some serious horror. Nothing like a bloody mess to celebrate the blackest day on the calendar.

Do any of you celebrate? Or are you a Valentine Hater like me? Talk to me, I promise I won't bite in my responses. ;)

Sex In Outer Space...And My Valentine Winner

Catchy title, isn't it? Well, actually, that's the theme for my post over at the awesomely brilliant Stephen Tremp's Breakthrough Blog. We're doing a switcheroo, he took over the Imaginarium yesterday and I'm invading Breakthrough today. And yes, my topic really is Sex In Outer Space. Top that!

And now for my Valentine winner. This was a hard one to do as I just loved the comments, so I entered everyone in my famous Atomic Randomizer 10,000. My super-cool,ultra high-tech gadget of the century has chosen... Craig Edwards!

Yay!! Cue Kermit the Frog cheers.

Thank you all for playing. Craig, email me melbwriters@gmail.com with Valentine in the subject line and let me know your choice of story.

It's The Big V Day

It's that time of year, Valentine's Day. Time for chocolate, sparkly things and delightful naughty goodness. In honor of the day, some very cool stuff is going on around here and at my publisher, Amber Quill Press' blog. We are having one hellahuge Par-tay!! There are lots of scintillating excerpts to read and contest fun galore as well as anecdotes, recipes and other tons of delicious sinful fun. Go on and check it out. You just may find a new author or twelve to read.

Now for my fun here. I'll let one of you pick the story of your choice, either Nathan's Angel or Byzantine Provocateur. Just tell me your coolest Valentine story ever. It does not have to be a love story, no siree. I mean I know people who think Valentine's Day is the worst. Your V Day tale could be scary, a break up revenge tale, heck, even an alien invasion. Leave it in the comments so we all can enjoy. I'll post the winner here by midnight PST.

My own entanglements with the Big V have been less than stellar so my feelings generally run along the same sentiments as ol' Willie here. It goes back to childhood when my mom would make me write out these horrid little cards for my classmates, most of whom I couldn't stand. And I knew they were under the same parental coersion, otherwise, I'd have no card from them, either. LOL

Lest you think I am a complete Love hum bug, there has been the odd, sweet Valentine's Day over the years. Like 02 when my roommate's nephew brought me a pink carnation beause he thought I was having a bad day. Or the unexpected coffee with a friendly Aussie who took shelter from the bitter February chill when I was working the early shift at the travel store.

So let's get on with the fun, shall we? I think a pomegranate martini is in order to lift my spirits. ;) And this little gem from my favorite comic of all time, Calvin and Hobbes by the wonderful Bill Watterson.