I'm baaacckk!!! With a vengeance of course. Thank you all so much for bearing with me as I was completely discombobulated and sick and just out of sorts. You left me the most wonderful, heart-warming comments that really cheered me and helped see me through to the end of this period of utter insanity. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I appreciate each and every one of you out there.
First of all, 3-D is a total money suck for little extra gratification. I mean on top of the already outrageous, sign-over-a-kidney ticket prices, theaters charge an additional 3-5 dollars. WTF? And what exactly are they charging this for? The special f/x? The accompanying headache and nausea?
I mentioned before that I don't need a foot or a fist coming at me to know someone is getting his or her ass kicked. Nor do I need random shit like knife blades, shattered glass and rushing water flying at me, hoping to make me duck, twist, squirm or flinch. Because yeah, my reality will somehow slip and I'll "think" I'm right there in the film. Uh Huh and the monster in my closet is real.
Furthermore, filmmakers use 3-D like poor cake decorators use frosting. They think they can cover up the slow spots, lack of pacing and general fucktardedness of their movie by shellacking it over with dazzling f/x. No, they can't. Granted, some can get away with an f/x laden thin script, but the cracks will show and those sugar flowers will fall off.
And did I mention the headache and nausea? Yeah, every time I watch a movie in 3-D, I leave feeling sick. All that shit rushing at me, the tripped out lighting and whatever else they use messes, with my eyes and screws with my brain. I thought I was going to up chuck my Sno-Caps after I saw Avatar.
Finally, we have the glasses themselves. Remember those old cardboard blue lens, red lens things you could get out of a cereal box? These things have come up in the world, but they are still cheaper than dollar store earrings. Only now, they are designed to be worn by toddlers with perfect vision or contact lenses. I feel like I'm being punished Harrison Bergeron style for having bad eyes and a big head.
This is why I will forever be a 2-D girl. What about you? Do like, love or are you just meh about 3-D?