IWSG... The March Experience

Hello Imaginarians, it's your I-Keep-Disappearing Mel, here. I'm a putz, I know. I am sorry for being quiet again. This comeback trail is very difficult. Kind of like that first month at the gym. Anyway, today is the first Wednesday and it's time for the Insecure Writers Support Group, an amazing group that helps all writers with our fears, triumphs and general insecurities, etc.

I have a laundry list, but today I'm going to rant a bit. I'm feeling feisty. I write erotica and here are some things I've been asked, discovered through research and what people assume. It used to give me a complex. I was so bad I was embarrassed to talk about my work.

1. If it can remotely be used in a sexual way, someone will try it. Cue hand drills. Yes, you read that right and it all has to do with being able to attach different things.

2. I do not know which fruit flavor tastes better with body fluids. Strawberry, peach...Yeah no. But thanks for your question, please buy my book.

3. I am perfectly aware of what is in the Bible and no, I don't believe I'm going to hell. Have you read Song of Solomon?

4. No, erotica writer is not a synonym for porn star or slut.

5. Yes, my mother knows what I write. She encourages me.

6. There is nothing on this Earth that does not turn someone on at some point. Cue bug crushing. Something to do with stiletto heels.

I love what I write and people are always going to have a problem with it. Hey, to each their own. My experience has taught me that all people have their personal fetishes. No matter how much they may deny and protest. Trust me. Think on that the next time you're at a PTA meeting or at Church. So I don't let the haters in my head anymore. Write what you love, be proud and you will get where you need to be.

I know this has been a very strange encouragement post, but that is how my mind works sometimes. Please visit my fellow IWSG ers if you can. They are amazing and would love to hear from you.

Insecure Writers Support Group October Edition

Hello there! I know it's been too long since I've written anything here. I've been just harried with writing, working and other things right now. Real Life is being a bitch. Anyway, today is the October  edition of the IWSG. This awesome group is 2 years old already and I cannot believe it. I've gotten so much from this group, the support, encouragement and commiseration has been truly amazing. Thank you, Captain Alex and all the members of your team who have been there for all of us. And there is even a really cool website now for the IWSG. Whoo hoo!!

I wanted to talk today about stuttering. No, not the speech impediment, but stuttering in writing, you know when you get going, sputter out, get going a little more, run up against a block, get some more story done...And on and on. This stop start cycle is frustrating to me. I want to drive needles into my eyes and run screaming down the street. I've started writing outlines, but even they don't seem to help this. It's not a full blown writers block, because I do write, but it's like my Muse is teasing me. She sends the words, then she takes them away, sends a little more, yanks them back. I hate this!!

Please tell me I am not crazy and am not the only one who suffers from this. And if you are a fellow sufferer, how do you handle it?

Plausibility

Plausible: Having the appearance of truth or reason; seemingly worthy of approval or acceptance; credible; believable.  (from Dictionary.com)

I know, what a happy post for a Friday. What can I say it was on my mind so I'm writing about it.

As authors, we create stories with characters and worlds, limited only by our imagination.  Anything and everything we want happens within the pages of our tales. However, we can get carried away with a story. We envision these mind-blowing scenes that would just be so awesome, but we forget about plausibility. What a pesky little creep! A killer of creativity! Why I've eliminated entire chapters because of this guy. Fortunately, those chapter kills came before publication. Sometimes that doesn't happen and I'll get pulled right out of a story.

Case in point. I just finished reading a historical romance. Not exactly a history lesson, if you know what I mean, but highly entertaining. Anyway, our hero and heroine are kidnapped by the villain, a loathsome bastard of a British East India Company man. Poor hero is whipped, then thrown into the hold while our heroine is enslaved in the captain's quarters. They get only brief glimpses of each other for the next four weeks or so. Until she sneaks down into the hold to get a little something, something. The author writes a very hot scene, complete with heroine running her fingers through hero's silky locks and along his strong jaw. Ah bliss...

Plausibility clobbering time.

We're talking the hold of an 18th century ship. Hello rats, hello other sailors, hello vermin. Not to mention it's been a month. Our silky-locked, strong-jawed hero is going to be pretty scruffy, smelly, emaciated and not to mention probably suffering the ill effects of having his flesh torn by a whip. And considering his condition, I don't think he'd still be able to ride her into the floor. Unless he's really an alien, but that would no longer make it just a historical.

I also recently read a sci fi in which the protagonist and villain were blasting away at each other and one of the many porthole windows on the ship got blown out. They kept fighting. Knock knock. This is outer space. It doesn't matter that the book is a low tech tale, if those windows get blown out, your characters will be sucked out into space, not continue their fight. Unless they are wearing pressurized space suits with gravity boots.

When we're writing we need to keep in mind that we can have happen whatever we want, but we need to make certain it's plausible. Otherwise we risk ruining our credibility as writers. Though I do  know there are those readers who don't care one wit about whether something is believable. When I questioned the above historical on another site, I was hammered by faithful readers of the author who told me that I had no sense of drama and romance. I mean, really, who wants to read about scruffy heroes and body odors? It's not sexy.

Now even, though there are readers out there  who don't care, I would err on the side of making it believable. You know for the other 99%.

Have you ever had to eliminate something in a story because it wasn't plausible? Have you ever read anything unbelievable that jerked you out of a book? Speak truth, I promise no one will skewer you for your opinion.

Insecure Writers Support Group: Revisionist Blues

Here it is the first Wednesday in October and it's time for the second edition of the Insecure Writers Support Group. Welcome! My fellow group members and I are here for you and each other. Below you'll find a list of the other cool participants. Last time I talked about my fear of having everything I write suck. Today I'm going to talk about revisions, which I know can suck out loud and sideways.

We do everything possible to ensure that our story is in the best shape possible and hey, it's been accepted. However, we have to be prepared to make changes and revisions no matter what. It's inevitable, like Republicans complaining about Democrats.

Editors will still find basic structure problems like pacing, weak prose, dialogue that is stilted and places where your main character waffles and steps out of herself. We are not perfect writers and our manuscripts, no matter how much we love them and have had other eyes look them over, are not perfect either. But that's okay, it's part of the routine, NOT that your writing sucks.

However, instead of those structural edits, I'm focusing on those revisions and changes in content. The ones that require you to alter your actual story, the most painful, horrific edits of all, in my opinion.

The editor knows their publishing house, know their readers and they will ask for changes accordingly. WHAT!! New to the business writers always seem to have a problem with this one. They always tell me there is no effing way they will allow anyone to destroy the vibe of their book. It's their story, damn it, their heart, their soul, their baby. "I know," I sympathize. "And you've already argued with your crit partners and beta readers about things, too. You can't possibly make one more single change. Period." "Damn straight." They nod fiercely, convinced of the superiority of this mindset. I hate to crush them, but that is oh so wrong and let me count the ways.

That love story in your political thriller that you insist is mere background, well your editor feels it should be played up more to add some additional flavor to the main characters. Oh and think two suspects is enough in your cozy mystery? Think again. You now have to add two more. The battle sequence in the desert was surely long enough at a thousand words. No, no, the editor thinks it should last longer, more to the tune of another two thousand words. Prefer a bare bones description of that European seaside village? Wait, your editor wants you to put the readers right there like they are looking at a guidebook.

Some changes will even come for marketing purposes. Like that title you so love and painstakingly labored over. It may not fit with their overall promotion scheme and will have to go. Gasp! Yes, your superfantastic Fires of Darkness is now Hot Nights. This kind of stuff happens all the time and you have to remember that it is no reflection on your skill as a writer or your ability to name your own kids.

Now, are there times where you can completely disagree with an editor and be heard? Heck yeah. You absolutely do not have to accept all those changes if you feel it threatens your voice. Ah, but here's where you have to be your most calm, though. In spite of the seething mass of roiling rage within your veins, you must be ice and civility. No one will listen to a crazed writer who is alternately screaming and crying unless you have a gun to their heads, but that's another story.

The bottom line is we as writers have to suck it up for this stage on our road to publication. Pretty shitty advice, I know. But, we want our babies published more than anything and the editors hold the magic key. It behooves us to listen. At the end of the day, they are only looking to ensure that our best possible work goes out there. I survive this part by commiserating with my fellow writers. So feel free to call me up or just pop on over here and tell me about those big bad editors and how they are ruining your masterpiece.

Why can't the heroine just wear a skirt?

Good description is the hallmark of a great story. It sets the scene, helps us to picture what is going on in our mind’s eye; it gives us a sense of when the story is taking place. I love reading a well-written paragraph that describes where a character lives or what the heroine is wearing. A good author can really make the tale come to life using the five sense and vivid details. Many times brand names are used, especially in contemporary pieces, to reinforce the description. Unfortunately, this enhancement is often over-used. Using brand names is a big writing peeve of mine.

I don’t mind reading a story that has some brand name products or well-known celeb names, song titles, movie titles, etc. In fact, if I am familiar with these names, it often cements the characters and story for me. What I don’t like is when the author feels it necessary to name-drop in every other sentence. If the character has a particular fondness for designer clothes, an author can get away with a Prada skirt, Chanel blouse and Jimmy Choo pumps on the top of page ten then a Versace gown three paragraphs later.

However, what becomes annoying and in my opinion, lazy writing, is the constant brand name-dropping in lieu of description. I’m talking about a story where the main protagonist pops in the Metallica Black album as he fires up his Ferrari Testarossa. He arrives at Spago where he meets his date, a woman wearing a skimpy Marc Jacobs number and carrying a Kate Spade clutch. He takes her home where they make love on his Ralph Lauren sheets then sip Cristal as they enjoy the afterglow. Wow, really? He can’t throw on some heavy metal music as he fire up his expensive sports car and races off to an Italian restaurant to meet his date who’s clad in a scanty designer dress. If I don’t know what Marc Jacobs’ dresses look like, then I’m going to feel compelled to leave the story to go look him up on the Internet.

Now you might be thinking, “But Melissa, this is a story about a really wealthy guy and they have designer everything.” Okay, then how about this: Our vampire hero throws on his Aerostitch jacket, climbs on his Ducati Monster 796 and races to rescue his vivacious heroine clad in nothing but a silk Victoria’s Secret lingerie set. He’s a vampire for crying out loud. Immortality should put him above being concerned about who he wears and drives.Why can’t the guy simply ride a powerful bike while wearing a fitted red motorcycle jacket? Or how about he just jumps on his bike and races to his lady’s side?

Some of these authors are so over-the-top with name-dropping, that it’s like they don’t trust the reader to even have an imagination. “You will not be able to picture my story exactly as I have written it therefore I am giving you instructions on what you should be seeing.” Yes, we have to be told Levi’s because we can’t picture jeans.

Perhaps these authors are getting corporate sponsorship for product placement. “Pay me $10,000 Armani, and my hero will wear your suits.” Or “Attention Steve Jobs, for a free iPad, my heroine will write her news articles on a MacBook Pro.”

A little goes along way with brand names. It’s okay for characters to listen to country music, they don’t always have to be listening to the latest Rascal Flatts song. What do you think? Do some authors get carried away with brand names in their stories?