Tuesday, March 13, 2012
What's Your Number?
I was however, more intrigued by the subject matter. How many sex partners does it take before one (that one being a woman) is considered a slut? Sex and the City did a similar themed episode involving Miranda having to track back her partners. In this film, Faris' Ally reads a magazine article which says that the average woman will have at most 4 to 5 sex partners with a very few going as high as 10. She immediately starts writing down all her partners and worries when that number hits 19. Why? Well, her friends, for one, are very sniping and close-minded. One of them admits to eight partners and the other three start calling her a slut and a whore. You see these bitches are all 4 or lower and proud of their lack of experience. Proud, scratch that, make it smug that they've been good girls. So, of course they are appalled that poor Ally has had 19 partners. What a whore!
An ardent feminist, I could not take this lying down. Why do we women look down on our sisters for enjoying themselves? Hell, why do we look down on ourselves for going heels to Jesus whenever the fancy strikes? Seriously, this is 2012. I don't remember an 11th Commandment that reads "Woman, thou shalt have at most four sex partners in thy lifetime and one of them better be your husband."
Women are the nastiest bitches on the planet when it comes to judging our fellow females. We are murderous if our friends or co-workers go over some magical good girl sex number. We are first in line to condemn and throwdown the epithets slut and whore. Hell, if our current man cheats, we blame the other woman.
And the media helps lead the charge. The article in the film may have been fictional, but I have seen at least thirty similar titled features in the last year alone. I've even read a few and they are quite stuffy in their opinions about women and the mythical perfect number of sex partners. For the most part, according to these articles, written by other women, mind you, women do not enjoy sex for sex unless it's with a partner they trust and care about. That women who sleep around with random guys somehow have low self-esteem. Although, the more enlightened allow for "that unexpected encounter." Really?
Then there's the "How Slutty Are You?" quizzes that crop up. Women read these and go crazy. I have good friends, normal, intelligent women who go bonkers when they think about their sex life and worry about how many partners they've had. It's scary to listen to them run on and stress over what their current guy will think if he finds out, my gawd, that they've had more than 5 partners. Or even engaged in a little kink. Remember Chasing Amy when Ben Affleck finds out Amy was with two guys? Talk about epic temper tantrum.
I seriously have had guy friends who have freaked the hell out when they found out the woman they had been dating had lots of partners. I asked one of them, what was wrong with his new lady having had 12 partners. He himself had had well over 20. You know what he said? "It's different for a guy." ROTFLOL!!! I, of course, caved in his skull with the nearest blunt object for that tired, chauvanistic response. I will allow that men and women think about sex in different terms, but come on, if you're going to have a dozen partners, why shouldn't your woman? Do guys really think that every woman they have sex with, they're only like one of four total partners for her in her lifetime? That's nuts.
I am of the mind that how many times someone does the horizontal mambo is no one's business but their own. And there is no slutbag number either. It's ridiculous and unenlightened. Sex is part of the human condition. Whether you prefer it with a caring partner, a random pick up, a friend with benefits...It's a good time, so let's stop worrying.