X Is For...XXX
Naughty is the name of my game and I am proud of that fact. When I tell people I write erotica, I get the initial "You write what?" followed by either prurient curiosity, righteous disdain or shock. Writing sex apparently makes me less than. In the blink of an eye, I go from being a fellow writer/interesting person/nice woman to one of those people.
Writing sex makes me a pervert, a lame hack writer, a desperate woman who can't get any and whole host of other rather nasty labels. It's amazing. I write erotic fantasy therefore I'm harboring illicit intentions toward your man/woman/kid. Back off, I obviously can't control myself. Why I might turn into a quivering mass of frenzied desire before your very eyes. I might rape you in public.
And some of my fellow writers are just as ridiculous. I write sex, therefore I have no concept of themes, conflict, characterization, good dialogue, tension or anything resembling good writing skills. All I'm capable of producing is weeping channels, manly rods, quivering lips and raven tresses. Or the more straight forward cunts, pussies, dicks, cocks, thrusts and orgasms.
The third response makes me smile at times and also cringe. When people find out I write sex, they endow me with a wild side to make porn stars blush. I'm the go-to Encyclopedia of All Things Sex. "How do you use those Altoids?" "What's it like being handcuffed to the bed?" "Can you show me how to use that riding crop?" The cringe factor comes in when they feel comfortable blurting things out to me. "I tried anal sex once. It was weird, but good." "My girl gives the best head, she sucks it just hard enough, you know?" No, I don't and I don't want to.
I often wonder if writers in other genres ever get the same responses. Do people expect you know how to stash a body because obviously you've had practice? If your villain chains someone up in the basement, is that because you've done it? Can you really fly a spaceship through an asteroid field? Do you mix poisons and potions in your spare time?
I will admit I do have my Great Store of Knowledge, but only very, very special people get inside to see my cash and prizes. I write sex. Write It. I am not a pervert/pedophile/nymphomaniac, I am quite capable of crafting well-executed stories. I am not a red light library and no, I don't need to hear about your sex life for inspiration.
I write sex, but it's not all that I am. Sorry for the rant, but over the last week or so, it came to my attention that a high school English teacher in Middleburg, Pennsylvania was persecuted by a group of parents and the local media for being an erotica writer. She's taught at that school for 25 years, but because someone found out she writes erotic fantasy under a PEN NAME, suddenly she's the biggest pervert in the history of the town. The outpouring of support for her, however, has been tremendous. Check out this video made by one of her former students.
Xerxes was the first one of those sketches that made me feel a bit uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteAs for the sex thing, people react, then think. A few years ago when pedophilia was big in the news (there's one living near you!) a bunch of 'concerned' parents trashed a woman's house because the sign on her door said she was a pedatrician.
I'm sorry but I had to LOL at your rant. Though it is a good rant I like you have never understood why people have to make such huge wrong assumptions.
ReplyDeleteSO... do tell me, cuffs; fur lined or bare metal? :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
yes, but you are our dear and sweet little pervert he he :)
ReplyDeleteI generally don't have anything against people blurting things out to me :) it makes my life more interesting :)
And I will forever be shocked and appalled by people who find sex more shocking than for example violence and killings. As if the sex isn't a creative and violence destructive power.
Kids should have sexual education from kindergarden. They do that in Israel for example and they have the lowest percentage of teen pregnancies and sexual diseases in the world.
Writing sex makes you one of 'those' people? Who says this kinds stuff is not honest. Hey, it's XXI century, not XVIII! Sex sells! Sex rules the world! Sex makes people feel good. Everybody loves sex! Am I right? Oh, yes I am! :)
ReplyDeleteEveryone who thinks that being an erotica author makes you a less skillful writer is an idiot. A complete and utter idiot!
Mel, you're an amazing person and an incredible writer, and you shouldn't give a damn about other people's opinions.
@Mood Yeah those mice made me back up a bit, too. :)
ReplyDeleteA pediatrician?! That poor woman. It's outrageous the way some people respond to what they believe are "corrupt morals." They go into witch hunt mode and stop thinking.
@Jules LOL I'm glad you could laugh. I wrote it to be intentionally funny as well as thought-provoking.
As for the cuffs, there are advantages to both. ;)
@Dez LOL Awww... you're so sweet for saying that, my dear. Thanks for always being on my side. :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have you with me sometimes when these people start talking. My friend, I have perfected a blank, but interested look and have worked to keep my jaw from dropping open like a broken gate. These little stories can be interesting, but honestly when they start giving the more graphic details...Yikes!
I so agree with your point about education. Knowledge is power and we have far too many teen pregnancies here for people to keep spouting off about abstinence being the only option.
@Nebular Here, Here! You are right, my friend. Sex does sell and yes, it makes all of us a hell of a lot happier. Life would really be a bear without it.
Awww...Thank you for saying that, hon. :)
I try hard not to let other people's opinions matter, but sometimes it just builds up. It was that teacher that triggered this little rant. Those people were not just judging her, they were going after her livelihood. Thank you for always being in my corner, it means the world to me. :)
I'd seen that video, his humor really helps him lay out some good points.
ReplyDeleteSex makes the world go round. I can't believe what people have said to you.
ReplyDeleteI've been making my novel revision 'sexier'. There's a priest in my crit group. They all laughed at me at what I thought an R rating is. They said only the mention of Ganymede brought it to PG-13.
Anyway, I started your story, Bryzantine Provocateur, and think you're a very good writer. I've been enjoying it and will use you as inspiration to put more R into my scenes. :)
People do get really weird about sex ... and swearing. It's OK if your horribly murder and maim everyone though.
What a thoughtful, insightful, and brutally honest piece.
ReplyDeletePrejudicial naysayers are never worth your time. For those who are unwilling to investigate and understand the intent of your writing, I have no sympathy. The stigma for "erotica" is entirely unjust and the sheer imprudence of someone to think that writers of naughty fiction are somehow sexual deviants is laughable. As you pointed out, no one disparages fantasy or crime writers. All I can say is ignore the foolhardy and keep doing what you do well.
That deal with the teacher is just awful. I always get upset when writers get harassed for their art. If she was drawing nudes, it would've been fantastic art, but because she's writing it? Nooo. But I even got pissed when Oprah whooped James Frey's ass. Granted, I never read his books, but I think there's a time and place for fact checking, and you shouldn't hang a writer out to dry for having an imagination. Can you imagine if they'd found out all the non-facts in Capote's books?
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I could rant about crimes against writers for hours. Frankly, any writers who think writing erotic isn't "real writing" haven't tried to write it. It's fucking hard to turn people on using a set number of adjectives. Building tension is an awesome writing gift.
As to your other point? If the character reflects the writer, I would be a psychopathic Italian gangster pedophile. And I will not tell you how many bodies I have stored in my trunk.
I'd like to fly a Cosbolt through an asteroid field! And if I tried to write something erotic, I'd get about three lines into it and quite so I could go find my wife.
ReplyDeleteErotica is simply a genre that doesn't interest me, but I'm not about to deny a fellow artist the chance to express himself or herself because of my preference in taste. Thanks for sharing the video on the same day I did!
ReplyDeleteHi Melissa! I found you through Jeffrey Beesler, as I also discussed the Judy Mays controversy. As a teacher and writer myself (though I am no longer currently teaching), I think this is COMPLETE CRAP. The fact anyone feels they have the right to do anything with this information is the root of the problem. Had she been pushing the books in her classroom, I could understand a cause for concern. But, writing these books under a different name outside her contracted day is no business of her students, their parents, or her administrators. I wish her union would step up and make a statement. Isn't that why they charge us $800/year?!
ReplyDeletehaha Alex!
ReplyDeletelove your rant Melissa
@Chris Wasn't this just the greatest vid. I love it when former students still show the love for their teachers.
ReplyDelete@MPax I am so honored and happy you are enjoying my story. Thank you!! Your support and thoughtful words have made me smile huge today. And I really needed that after having to sit in the dentist's chair.
You are so right about people getting weird when it comes to sex. I still can't understand why a naked boob is more offensive than a man getting his head blown off on the latest crime show episode.
@Matt Thanks for the props. It means a lot coming from a fellow writer whose opinion I have come to hold in high regard.
ReplyDeleteI try not to let the naysayers have head space, but once in a while my ire gets up and I've got to blow. Erotica writers do get painted with a undeserving brush and I have never understood why. Bad writing comes in all genres.
@M LMAO! You rock. I would totally help you stow those bodies. I'm a writer and I've done my research. ;) I'm already guilty of nefarious deeds, so why not actually commit some.
You've got that right about turning people on with words. Sometimes, I exhaust myself trying to think of original ways to write exciting sex that one would find in a more vanilla bedroom. Not all my characters can be super strong werewolves with double jointed limbs. LOL
@Alex I'd love to co-pilot that Cosbolt with you for the sheer experience of being able to tell one of those Pennsylvania parents that yes, I do exactly what the characters do.
ReplyDeleteQuitting after three lines to go find your wife? Damn, you are good Ninja Man. ;)
@Jeffrey I am so glad we did this today. Our fellow writers need all the support we can give them. Denying an artist their form of expression based on personal preference is not what this country stands for. Isn't amazing how some people can sit there yammering at the unenlightened state of other countries while in the very next breath, condemn a fellow citizen because they write racy books.
@Paul Hi! It's great to see you here and bravo on the support for Judy. What she does on her own time does not infringe on her day job performance. You're right in that had she brought her books to school or mentioned them, that would have been cause for concern. but she went out of her way to keep them separate. Whatever happened to eight hours for what we will?
ReplyDeleteI think this kind of attitude is one reason why it is getting more and more difficult to find great teachers.
@baygirl32 Thanks! I just had to say something after I found what happened to this poor woman.