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If you are not 18, please exit stage left. While there is normally nothing naughty here, I do write and review erotica so there are links to spicy stuff and the occasional heated excerpt.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

At A Loss

My most profound apologies for having abandoned all of you of late. I have been working a lot at a job assignment, on writing and have had several things come crashing down around me. I haven't said anything, tried to just go about doing my thing, but it is all starting to wear on me.

But one thing happened recently that has made me tired in my soul. Have you had someone touch your life just for a second, but for some reason you always remember them?  I met Erica at my nephew's Halloween party a few years ago. She came with her daughter, Tiffany, both of them these delicate little creatures who had these wonderful smiles. Erica thought it was a birthday party and brought my nephew a gift. When my sister tried to give it back, she shook her head and just smiled that ethereal smile, saying only,  "It'll be his birthday eventually." I joked with her a while that day and only met her a few times more times after that, our paths never crossing again. But, I always remembered her.

Just about 2 weeks ago I found out she was murdered. Broken to pieces by the savage brute she once called husband. It was so horrific that they could only have a picture of her on her coffin.

 I sit here sickened and horrified to my marrow.  My mind churns, keeps going back to that Halloween party, to Erica's tiny hands, her delicate arms and that huge smile. I keep seeing Tiffany laughing and playing. And this blackness settles in my heart.  I don't know why, either. I did not know her, only met her a few times. My sister knew her, was her friend. My heart breaks for her and for her Erica's family, most especially Tiffany.

Domestic violence has always been on the edges of my world. I knew kids growing up who were hit, mothers and other who got slapped around. This is why I am drawn to exceptionally strong women and constantly speak out on women's issues. I  know that there are people out there who have witnessed more far more violence than I have, who have lost loved ones to war. I  have known people who were shot, stabbed, etc. You can't live where I live and not know victims of violence. But this incident has just shaken me and I can't explain it.

I know this is an awful way to post for a Friday, but please, if you get a chance and are able, donate to organizations that help victims of domestic violence like the Community Welcome House. And pray.


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss Melissa. Though you only saw Erica a few times, her kindness obviously touched you, and there's no reason that her life had to come to such a violent end. My heart goes out to her daughter. Your sister and nephew must also be taking this very hard. Take care of yourself Melissa, and I hope that you can find comfort with family and friends.

  2. Melissa, I am so sorry. Prayers for you, your sister, and Erica's family.
    That kind of violence is just beyond my comprehension. I can't imagine the rage it would take to hurt someone, especially a woman. (Though God help any person who would try to hurt my wife.)

  3. I'm sorry to hear that, sweetheart. I can't understand why terrible things always happen to good people. It's just not fair. Erica will always stay in your heart, and this sad yet touching story will stay in ours.

  4. sadness... my thoughts are out to everyone who loved her. this world can be an awful place, really sad.

  5. angels usually are the most fragile creatures and the least protected ones.....

  6. Oh how awful. I'm so stunned that this happened. You have my sympathies, Melissa and I shall check out that charity straight away.

  7. It seems to be a period for sad news. I am so sorry to hear of this tragedy. I am thankful that my company sponsors a major domestic violence charity. I was online last night and saw someone chatting with an old school friend. This person's last name isn't common and matched an old girlfriend's. I asked if they were related and they were. But as it turned out my former girlfriend passed away in 2010. This just bomb blasted me. Hugs to you my friend. A sad day.

  8. This tragedy is heartbreaking. When we retroactively chart the past encounters of our lives, we reflect on those who, through a simple gesture or bode of confidence, affected us deeply. This appears to be one of those encounters for you and I feel terribly ill-prepared to offer you solace.

    But I have no doubt you'll find the strength to carry on and continue spreading your good cheer. Humanitarianism struggles to persist in the face of such cold despair, but life requires courage. And I've no doubt you possess enormous courage.

    Keep on smiling :)

  9. What a horrible event, Melissa. Violence always bothers me. I hate to think of people suffering through that. My thoughts and condolences to you, your sister, and Erica's family. Unexpected events are hard to process. That much I know. I imagine they'd be all the harder if brought on by violence.

  10. Sometimes people touch our souls for unknown reasons. Maybe it's to light a spark, to be remembered, so their voice continues to resonate when they no longer have the ability to speak for themselves.

    You have a wonderful compassion, Melissa. I've no doubt you will rise from the depths of blackness with a stronger voice so she, and others like her, will not be forgotten.

    Blessings to you.

  11. Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about that. It's truly a horrid heinous act, my condolences to you and the family Melissa.

  12. I perfectly understand what you mean. Sometimes it's the deaths of people we don't know that good, that are way more shocking than the deaths of family members.
    A few years ago, a guy who frequently visited our local pub died during a holiday in Spain. I didn't knew him well and I only talked a few times to him, but for whatever reason his death shocked me more than expected, even more than the death of my grandma.

  13. Never a bad time to advocate for humanity Melissa. There are some truly horrible people in this world, and some angels also. Thank you for sharing this story, and the link. It touched my heart.


  14. Oh my gosh, Melissa, I am so sorry! I do understand the blackness that you are describing. I think that we hear things and try to let them slide off of us as quickly as possible, but when something like this happens to someone we know ... it is as if we cannot escape the reality of evil and it hurts so much.

    That poor little girl. At least she is no longer stuck living with her evil father.

    Sending you hugs and love right now.

    Kathy M.

  15. Domestic violence is a very touch social issue. It is with deep appreciation that I thank you for writing this blog post. Raising awareness about such things is important, and having compassion is vital.


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