Girls Kick Ass, Says So On The T-Shirt

Hey Imaginarians, while I am off in Deadlineville, my wild and crazy cool pal from Mind of Mine is here with an awesome guest post on my fave subject, Girls Who Kick Ass. Take it away, my friend...

Girls Who Kick Ass!
When I am picking a movie, either at a store, in line at the movies or downloading on that old World Wide Web. I ask myself, what kind of movie do I want to watch, Action? Thriller? Comedy or Drama?
I go through the list of movies and I often find that the genre is not really important. No, the quickest thing to draw me into a title is a strong and powerful female lead. The type of lead that demands your attention and whom eases screen presence. Give her a weapon to kick ass, be it intellect, wisdom or a pistol.

This guest post is an ode to those ladies, the ladies who kick ass and take no guff from anyone. Those Positive female role models. I should probably tell you at this point, that these are in no particular order, as in not to infuriate anyone. I know the effects, someone else's personal opinion can have on internet geeks. I am the same way....'What do you mean you have listed the Pink Power Ranger, number 5 of your all time favourite rangers, Roooarrr'. *Smashes up key board*

So here we go...

Sandra Bullock - Angela Bennett - The Net.

I can't really remember when my obession with with Heroine's began. But I can remember the first to have such an impact on me. The star making vehicle for Sandra Bullock was released to cinema's in 1995 and I believe we rented it sometime after that. The Net tells the story of Angela Bennett, a computer analyst and recluse, whose live is taken over by a computer terrorist group who believes she has access to a disk which could bring them down. They change her name, kill her only ally and force to her to get her life back, the only way she knows how.

The Internet was still a rare comodity at the time of it's release and it is as much a character driven as it is laced with not so clever plot devices. Fan of the CSI tool kit, full of things, which have not been invented yet, might want to take a retrospective look at this one. This movie is no Citizen Kane (I have never even seen Citizen Kane), nor is it a Gigli (Not seen that either) but it has it's moments. Bullock makes the list because she didn't need to use her fists to kick ass and that is alright in my book.

Bridget Fonda - Maggie Hayward - Assassin (Le Femme Nikita, Point Of No Return)

My parents, really were laxed when it came to monitoring my viewing. I was pretty much allowed watch anything, regardless of age. Like the movie above, I watched this for the first time, when I was quite young and like everyone else, watched it again when I got older and realised that I had no idea what was going on. For instance, I didn't realise that the opening shoot up in the pharmacy happened because Maggie needed them druggggsss! Yep, she was a big oul heroin junkie. I had a big old metaphorical hard on for this movie, as soon as a reformed Mags, kicked of those stylish black stiletto's, cocked her gun and went on a shooting rampage in a fancy hotel. That is a women after my own heart. She will die trying of course, cuz I like the mens.

I could go into more detail about the plots of the movies I am listing but I really don't feel like it...eh, I mean, they really don't matter. In fact, if I am honest and this is just between me and you, many of the entires, don't actually have any. *Sssshhh*. To sum it up in a nutshell, Gabirel Byrne, saves Fonda from a death sentence but in turn, makes her an assassain, which is where all the fun begins. She is set free eventually, or so she thinks but as she falls in love, she is called on to do the odd job. Kill some politicans, help a buddy move a sofa. Before that 'final job' where all the shit hits the fan. As I said that doesn't matter, what matters is, you see Fonda, kick the living shit out of a would be mugger. That my friends, make this move awesome.

Bridgette Wilson- Sonya Blade - Mortal Kombat

Now, when I played computer games as kid, a couple of titles really stood out for me. Street Fighter - Big props to my girl Chun Li, Streets of Rage, Whadup Blaze! and also Mortal Kombat. In 1995, Mortal Kombat hit our screens. Die hard games fan were appalled but I was in love. In love with Sonya Blade, played by Bridgette Wilson. She had one thing on her mind, movie stardom and to kill Kano, the red eyed killing machine. Now, this movies, views on feminism are slightly askew, first, she is able to kick ass no problem but by the time the movie ends, she has fallen in love and needs to be rescued. But for the 45 minutes or so, where she kicks ass, has earned her a place on this list.

You know how the movie goes, but here is a brief recap to get you up to date. Various fighters are recruited to fight on a mysterious island, for a mysterious tournament to save mysterious earth. Oh wait, I guess mysterious isn't appropriate description for Earth, anyway...They must win this tournament must be won, or bad things will happen to earth. I guess they lost then.....

Halle Berry - Patience Philips - Catwoman.

I am going to get so much slack for this but I have to admit it, I have a drug problem and I didn't hate Catwoman. There I said it, I like them drugs mmmmkay. Berry, plays Patience, a shy mousy artist, who is more inclined to lick someones boots than tell them where to shove it. I for one, have never met a black women like her but I didn't write this movie...She uncovers a secret by, get this, a cosmetic company and is killed. This is obviously where the cat fun starts.

As I said, many people hated this movie for the simple fact, it is fucking awful. But I am not one of those people. I think its mighty fun! Frances Conway, even plays a crazy cat lady. Sharon Stone, plays a business women, who has turned to steel or concrete or some other kind of implausible shit. Who really cares, all that matters is Catwoman kicks some ass, and she does my friends. She does.

Sandra Bullock - Gracie Le Free Bush - Miss Congeniality.

As a young gay man, this was 90 minutes of glitterati orgasm. It was a boat load of fun, to watch the transformation of Bullock, from a slob to beauty queen and with some inspired casting of Candy Bergen, you can't help but love this. It is genuinely funny, entertaining and I have run out of adjectives to describe how fucking awesome Miss C really is.

Bullock plays Gracie, an FBI agent who is chose to go undercover at the Miss America beauty contest, to weed out a terrorist who may target the competition  Cue hilariousness, as she is made over to fit in with the other air contestants, only to find that things or people are not as simple as she looks. This is Bullock's second entry on this list, lets just say, the women knows how to pick a good movie. I was even tempted to put The Blindside on here because lets face it. Lee Anne Toughy also, kicks ass.

Jennifer Lawrence - Katniss Everdeen - The Hunger Games.

Ok, time to get serious. I have nothing bad, dry or sarcastic to say about this movie. But lord I will still try. Nope, got nothing. For a reason, I can't quite fathom right now, I had very little interest in this Hunger Games saga, I hadn't read the books, or checked this out at the cinema. Come to think of it, I don't recall even seeing a trailer for it.

Jennifer plays Katniss, who lives in a world very different to how we live now. She is the epitome of ass kickiness. She competes in a barbaric tournament, known as the Hunger Games. I finally gave in and watched it after catching her Jenny in the disappointing House At The End Of The Street and absolutely freaking loving her in it. I am exciting for the coming sequels.

Milla Jovovich - Alice - Resident Evil

Big Mansion, underground labratory, hot girl kicking it in a red dress. Yes, I can only be talking about one movie, Resident Evil. This movie actually contains two girls who Kick Ass, Milla and Michelle Rodriguez. One becomes a disgusting zombie, the other becomes a telekinetic head fuck, who can kill people by looking at them. But either way and lets all say it together, they both Kick Ass!

The plot is probably well known enough. Crazy lab, zombies, implausible plot devices. It has it all. It's actually grown into a massive franchise, which eventually invited Ali Larter to the mix and although nothing beats the first and most interesting movie, they still have a lot to offer to the genre.
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This was just an ode to some of those girls who kick as on the movie screen, to be honest there are a lot more. But no one as time to go through them now, me or you. So let's her it for those ladies, who did not make this list.

Charlie's Angels, known as Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz and Danny De Vito (Drew Barrymore). The electrifying Elektra played Jennifer Garner, The fantastically stormy Sue Storm brought to life by Jessica Alba. Krispy Kreme and fucking ugly shoe destroying Julia Roberts as Erin Brockovich.