Okay, so in between my regular gigs, I helped my sister clean YE OLDE BASEMENT and we came across a treasure trove of old books. We found some goodies like a copy of Catcher In The Rye and for all you Stars Wars geeks out there the original 1978 Splinter of the Mind's Eye by Alan Dean Foster, a sequel to Star Wars in which Luke Skywalker crash lands on the swamp world of Mimban with Princess Leia and gets caught up in the search for the Kaiburr crystal.
But I digress...
What really struck me in the Magic Box of Books were these two gems. Harlequin Superromances with the cheesiest WTF covers I have ever seen. I nearly peed myself laughing at them. Take a gander
Check out the Mom jeans on Wyatt Earp here. Is it just me or does the poofy shirt and vest make him look like he should be pillaging and plundering some Spanish galleon and not holding a baby with Laura Ingalls Wilder? Maybe that's the truth about cowboys, that they secretly wish to be pirates. And check the dress. This just screams Little House on the Prairie meets Bridezilla. And don't you just love the His and Her cowboy hats? It's so sweet, I need to take an extra does my diabetes medication and brush my teeth. And as if this cover wasn't enough of a chuckle, this cowboy's name is Abe Cockburn. Hmmm...all I can think is Ouch!
Doesn't this picture just scream Diabetic Coma? I mean you have cute kids, cute couple, a cute dog and cat who look like they are deliriously in love and they are surrounded by CHristmas. even the name, The Man Who Saved Christmas, is cute. I think I need some cute pink Pepto Bismol. However, check the cover carefully. Is it me or are they trying to imply that Mom gave birth on that couch? Eeewww!! Plus, her legs are missing. It looks like one of those half-mannequins they pose in the department store because the ones with legs are all in the windows. And this plot is a doozy. Pregnant mom and two kids lose everything in a fire, but a conveniently off duty patrol officer rushes in to save their dog. Romance ensues because yeah, nine months pregnant and homeless, you want some lurve and romance. But as the cover says "Christmas and babies come whether we're ready or not. And so does love." Ponder that thought for the day, Imaginarians.
Somehow the babies on the cover take out all the romance for me!
ReplyDeleteAnd I have that Star Wars book. Somewhere...
oh, dear, Little House on the Prairie was popular some half a century ago even in Serbia :) I think my mother loved it as a kid.
ReplyDeleteChristmas and babies come whether we are ready or not? They haven't heard of birth control back in those days, have they? :))
OMG that Star Wars book!
ReplyDeleteummm... i'm SUCH a dork! because i was like OOOOHHHH!!!!! they need to make a hallmark movie out of that christmas book, and i'll watch it with my trusty blanky, a container of pecan sandies, and a box of kleenex!
ReplyDeleteLLLOOOOVVVEEE!!!!
:)
sappy christmas stories get me everytime. no pepto needed! :)
Cockburn. I could read no further, I was laughing too much.
ReplyDelete*giggles* Oh, too much. Guess the 70s had a lot of family love in their romance, but yeah... had those children just watched childbirth, they would be MUCH more traumatized, and there is NO WAY mom still had combed hair and dressy clothes on...
ReplyDeleteThe cover of "Splinter of the Mind's Eye" is a-may-zing!
ReplyDeleteI also have that Star Wars book.
ReplyDeleteWOW! Splinter of the Mind's Eye! From back in the day when you couldn't own every movie you wanted to - and here was an honest to goodness continuation of Star Wars two years before The Empire Struck Back. My friends and I were always talking about whether or not the second movie would be Splinter of the Mind's Eye - and we were pretty surprised when it wasn't! Awesome find! My aunt still reads that style of romance novel - she consumes them in great fistfuls, actually. Fantastic post, MB!
ReplyDeleteYou are funny! I know that sugar high, it is traumatically sweet~
ReplyDeleteI too love the cover of "Splinter of the Mind's Eye"!
lol awww I loved Little House on the Prairie. I remember at high school it was Mills and Boon doing the rounds. :)
ReplyDelete@Alex Yeah babies just aren't romantic. I never understood why they have them on covers all the time for contemporary romances.
ReplyDelete@Dezz LOL My mom was into Little House as well.
Birth control is apparently not a factor for romances of this type. It's all about cowboys, amnesiacs and secret babies. ;)
@Matthew I loved this book. I was so happy when I found it.
@vics LOL Pecan sandies? Hmm...maybe I should come watch movies with you. :)
@Julie Isn't that name just awesome? I mean why would you name your romance hero that? I couldn't stop laughing, either when I read it.
ReplyDelete@Hart Right? There's nothing like taking family love to that trauma level. ;)And hey, all new moms look "cough" gorgeous right after having a watermelon yanked through their Southland.
@Nebular I love that cover, too. I'm so happy I found the book again.
@Julia Isn't this a great story? I loved it more than Star Wars.
@Craig I loved this story. My dad had purchased it because he was a voracious reader and was mad for Star Wars. This is still my favorite of the expanded universe novels. I loved Empire, but this would have made a rockin' sequel.
ReplyDelete@Ella Aww.. thanks! Yeah those sugar highs are dangerous not only for your pancreas, but your gray matter as well. Too much cheese...:)
@Niki Hi!! How have you been?
I loved Little House as well. Nellie Olsen was my favorite bitch. :)
I'm great thanks :) hahaha oh she was gorgeous. Loved her hair!
ReplyDelete@Niki Oh those blonde ringlets were a sight. I wanted to pull each and every one of them sometimes. ;) I'm glad you you are doing well. Popped on over to your place. Wow! It looks amazing.
ReplyDeleteWow Little House on The Priarie takes me back some years, my mum always used to make me watch it on tv ha ha
ReplyDelete