Tuesday, April 5, 2011
D Is For...
D is for... Deep Thoughts
Thank you to all my new followers and visitors. I appreciate your wonderful support. To continue on the challenge, click on the A to Z button at the top right on my sidebar.
As you can see on day four of the challenge, poor Desmond has fallen out of a sleigh. Man, I told you those Gashlycrumb kids had it rough. But while Little D goes on to his heavenly reward, I'm going to share with you some deep thoughts,(no, not the ones by Jack Handy all you SNL fans out there) just little sarcasms, witticisms and things that have happened that help me keep my sense of humor and snarky tongue razor sharp.
1. I have learned that there is stupid and then there's stoopid.
2. I wish I could carry around a giant foam middle finger because then I could slap people and flip them off.
3. Telling me I have a spankalicious fat ass will NOT get me to have sex with you.
4. Fat men telling fat women they need to lose weight is like Sarah Palin telling Michelle Bachman she's too conservative.
5. The Force Field of Oblivion is more powerful than Gravity.
6. Why is it that when a guy insults a woman, the first thing that comes to his mind is the word bitch?
7. Why is it microwave food remains frozen in the middle no matter how long you nuke it?
8. When I'm in a hurry, I am guaranteed to find the longest line with the dumbest cashier handling a customer who needs a thousand price checks.
9. Have you ever gotten so bored, you were tempted to staple your fingers just to add a little excitement?
10. The next person who tells me that if Snooki from Jersey Shore can sell a book, why can't I? is going to have their fingers smashed with a hammer.
I'll leave you with a bit from my favorite observationalists, Calvin and Hobbes