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Come on and join author Melissa Bradley as she sets off on her latest adventure...

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If you are not 18, please exit stage left. While there is normally nothing naughty here, I do write and review erotica so there are links to spicy stuff and the occasional heated excerpt.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

D Is For...


D is for... Deep Thoughts

Thank you to all my new followers and visitors. I appreciate your wonderful support. To continue on the challenge, click on the A to Z button at the top right on my sidebar.

As you can see on day four of the challenge, poor Desmond has fallen out of a sleigh. Man, I told you those Gashlycrumb kids had it rough. But while Little D goes on to his heavenly reward, I'm going to share with you some deep thoughts,(no, not the ones by Jack Handy all you SNL fans out there) just little sarcasms, witticisms and things that have happened that help me keep my sense of humor and snarky tongue razor sharp.

1. I have learned that there is stupid and then there's stoopid.

2. I wish I could carry around a giant foam middle finger because then I could slap people and flip them off.

3. Telling me I have a spankalicious fat ass will NOT get me to have sex with you.

4. Fat men telling fat women they need to lose weight is like Sarah Palin telling Michelle Bachman she's too conservative.

5. The Force Field of Oblivion is more powerful than Gravity.

6. Why is it that when a guy insults a woman, the first thing that comes to his mind is the word bitch?

7. Why is it microwave food remains frozen in the middle no matter how long you nuke it?

8. When I'm in a hurry, I am guaranteed to find the longest line with the dumbest cashier handling a customer who needs a thousand price checks.

9. Have you ever gotten so bored, you were tempted to staple your fingers just to add a little excitement?

10. The next person who tells me that if Snooki from Jersey Shore can sell a book, why can't I? is going to have their fingers smashed with a hammer.

I'll leave you with a bit from my favorite observationalists, Calvin and Hobbes

28 comments:

  1. WOW! My favorite "A to Z" post of yours, Mel! I loved every word of it. Deep, thoughtful, yet amusing... just like Mel herself :)

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  2. Ha ha I wish I had one of those sponge hands too. Great post!

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  3. Now who pushed little Dezzy of the sleighs??? Melsy you must investigate this immediately, you can't have your beloved friends being pushed and tossed around in the middle of blizzard :) But when I come to think about it, maybe those were my penguins, they like doing mischief on snow.

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  4. I want one of those foamy hands too! And the lines are the reason I hate shopping. Loved the cartoon.

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  5. Love the giant foam finger idea! That would be SO ideal.

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  6. @Nebular George, I'm so happy you loved this look into my smart ass worldview. "Deep, thoughtful, yet amusing..." aww thanks! :)

    @Siv LOL! I need one because I have small, stubby fingers and when I flip someone off, it never seems to have any impact.

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  7. @Dez I thought about what you'd say the minute I saw this pic. I'm launching a full investigation straight-away. Maybe your cute little penguins were making mischief. I'll find out, don't you worry. ;)

    @Clarissa Yes those foam fingers would awesome. I hate to shop as well, especially when I'm in a hurry. The stores are like a time warp or something.

    @Talli Wouldn't it, though? And so much more impactful. My little fingers never seem to be taken seriously. :)

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  8. No on #9 but I love the rest! Especially that foam finger idea.


    M.J. Fifield
    My Pet Blog

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  9. What a poor Dezmond :)) I think your penguins have little grudge on you :)

    That list you have there is really funny and got me thinking about it, Mel. Great post!

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  10. Great post Mel! Insightful and funny. What more could a prospective blog reader want!?

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  11. great post - laughter and thought combined - thanks

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  12. Oh, I would love one of those foam fingers. Or a bullhorn. Especially for driving. "GET OFF THE PHONE AND DRIVE." "CAN WE AT LEAST GO THE SPEED LIMIT?"

    The Calvin & Hobbes is fabulous. Reminds me of doing papers in college. Yup, that was the way to write those.

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  13. Haha. You definitely had me a spankalicious ass. Now why is that? ;-)

    Nice to meet you via the A to Z challenge!

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  14. LOL at number 2 and 8! I'm glad to have found your awesome blog.

    Ellie Garratt

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  15. @MJ Yeah that foam finger is definitely something we could all use. :)

    @Jaccstev I'm happy you enjoyed my little sarcasms. My outlook helps me deal with stuff for sure.

    @Matt Thanks! I call things like I see them and I love it when I can get others to laugh and enjoy.

    @alberta Hi! Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed my twisted thoughts. :)

    @M Pax Driving, yes! You do need a foam finger and s loud horn for that. Driving and texting...sheesh!

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  16. @Talei Hi! So I had you at spankalicious...It's an unusual description to say the least and this guy was all about a-licious. LOL It's great to meet you on this awesome challenge as well.

    @Adam Happy to see you enjoyed my twisted outlook on things.

    @Ellie :) I'm glad you found me, too. 2 and 8 had me cracking up as I wrote them.

    @Sarah Thanks! 8 is like Murphy's Law to nth degree, I swear. :)

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  17. ROFL, love them all, great observations! And it sounds like you have a new foam finger business :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

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  18. ohmygoodness!!! i TOTALLY thought you were going to do a post about jack handy!!!!
    microwave food is super icky!! XP

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  19. I hope you'll allow me to borrow your foam finger, girlfriend. Yep, it was one of those days. LOL!!!

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  20. Ohmygosh - I love you. This post was so FUNNY and so SNARKY and so ME. Loved it. Completely saw myself in #8.

    New follower from A-Z - nice to meet you!

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  21. This is an awesome "D" post. I should try having deep thoughts one of these days. :)

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  22. thoughtful list..

    funny and witty, deep thoughts help one feel good and love life in more senses.

    bless your heart.
    your post rocks.

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  23. Too funny! I too always get in that check out line in the store. Then today it was at the post office. Do these people have nothing better to do?


    Contrary to my usual practice of subscribing to comments, to save time during this early part of the challenge I will not be doing so at this time. If you want to respond to my comment, please email me directly from your email notification for the comment.
    Thanks. And I truly appreciate your efforts.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out
    Twitter hashtag: #atozchallenge

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  24. This was awesome!! I love the Snooki one especially. You have a great blog. I'm so happy that I found you here :)

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  25. really great post, I had to laugh as when you said Dezy was pushed off I thought you meant Dez at Hollywood spy ha ha

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  26. Demps, so did he. LOL I thought of him right off when I put the pic up.

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