I have a laundry list, but today I'm going to rant a bit. I'm feeling feisty. I write erotica and here are some things I've been asked, discovered through research and what people assume. It used to give me a complex. I was so bad I was embarrassed to talk about my work.
1. If it can remotely be used in a sexual way, someone will try it. Cue hand drills. Yes, you read that right and it all has to do with being able to attach different things.
2. I do not know which fruit flavor tastes better with body fluids. Strawberry, peach...Yeah no. But thanks for your question, please buy my book.
3. I am perfectly aware of what is in the Bible and no, I don't believe I'm going to hell. Have you read Song of Solomon?
4. No, erotica writer is not a synonym for porn star or slut.
5. Yes, my mother knows what I write. She encourages me.
6. There is nothing on this Earth that does not turn someone on at some point. Cue bug crushing. Something to do with stiletto heels.
I love what I write and people are always going to have a problem with it. Hey, to each their own. My experience has taught me that all people have their personal fetishes. No matter how much they may deny and protest. Trust me. Think on that the next time you're at a PTA meeting or at Church. So I don't let the haters in my head anymore. Write what you love, be proud and you will get where you need to be.
I know this has been a very strange encouragement post, but that is how my mind works sometimes. Please visit my fellow IWSG ers if you can. They are amazing and would love to hear from you.
You just have to let it roll off your back.
ReplyDeleteAnd strawberry! Wait, did I say that out loud...?
Thanks, Alex. I do let it roll, I used to feel so bothered. Guess I found the right people here.
DeleteLOL! A strawberry mam eh? ;)
I agree with the belief "write what you love,". Hey Melissa, I had no idea that you wrote erotica.
ReplyDeleteHi Rachna! Writing what you love and the freedom of your creative voice is so important. I tell that to aspiring writers I encounter.
DeleteLol, yeah writing erotica is really fun. I thoroughly enjoy it.
Bug crushing. There's something for everyone. Just write what you enjoy, Melissa.
ReplyDeleteLol Diane, there absolutely is something for everyone.
DeleteI really love writing erotica and don't think that I will ever stop. :)
Bug crushing! I hate bugs so much maybe that would turn me on LOL. Take care, Melissa. I hope the trail gets easier for you.
ReplyDeleteI love it, Julie! Bugs get me, too.
DeleteThanks for the support!
Writers get a lot of weird questions from non-writers in general, so I can only imagine how magnified that experience is when the writing is erotica.
ReplyDeleteAt RWA nationals last year, two PhD sociologists hosted a session on a study they are doing about the romance writing industry. It's a legit study that will be published in journals and everything. They mentioned how romance as a genre,in all forms, is looked down upon by other writing communities (ie not qualified as "real" reading, not literature, etc.) and how all if it ties in to sexist cultural attitudes. Romance is "weak" for example. Romance is a female-dominated industry, and romance writers are frequently grateful their spouses or families "let" them write it. Not all bad news though: they said romance writers feel supported by their industry, that it's often a safe environment (possibly b/c female dominated which is less threatening) and view other writers as friends or even family which is, as they say, unheard of in other writing communities.
Anyway, PERSPECTIVE.
Hi, Steph! I could not agree more about the questions. Even before people find out I write erotica, I get strange, offbeat questions about writing.
DeleteThanks for mentioning this study. I'm going to look into it more. I guess it really is all about perspective.
Good for you. I love your answers. Nice to hear from you again.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to be back, Susan. I'm happy you enjoyed my little anecdotes. I love to make people smile and laugh. :)
DeleteI can only imagine the questions you get...wait I don't have to because you just enumerated some of them. Writers are amazing to hang out with because of their diversity and imagination. Imagination folks, it's not all from real experience.
ReplyDeleteYes, Johanna! Imagination, ding, ding, ding. It frustrates me that people take that adage write what you know literally.
DeleteI love writers so much, we are the colest. :)
People are strange. One of my local friends writes erotica. She makes a damn fine living from it. Makes me think about writing it.
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more, Mary. People are definitely strange. It's too bad we don't always see the beauty in our strange uniqueness.
DeleteI have no doubt you would be awesome at any genre you tackled. :)
Thanks, Maurice! You know I'm keeping me all the way. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, my mind went all over the place! lol Yes, be proud and continue to do what you love best. This is how we should create! Nicely done Mel
ReplyDeleteMan, I wish I had the body and sex drive of a porn star. I write at erotica sometimes. Its so much fun. I have as much fun writing serial killers too. Sadly, neither character comes with any personal experience to make it more authentic than the research.
ReplyDelete......dhole
I think it's great you're proud of what you do and write.And your mom knows you write erotica. Way to go!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Isn't it funny how men who write really spicy fiction don't have to answer those kind of ridiculous questions?
ReplyDeleteEveryone has a kink and people that say they don't haven't found one yet. I once asked a therapist, "Why do I like A,B and C? Is something wrong with me? Did something bad happen to me?"
My therapist said, "Who cares why? Some guy gets hit by a shoe when he's a child and thirty years later he's in my office wondering why being spanked with footwear turns him on. It's chaos. If it doesn't impede on a healthy, happy life outside the bedroom for you or anyone else, just accept that you llike certain things and quit trying to fix what isn't broken."
As for bug crushing. I was already aware of this. The world is full of some seriously bizarre stuff. Like people who get turned on by watching other people fart. That is a real thing. Don't Google it though. You just... don't want to do that.
Rule 34 of the internet says, that if you can imagine it, there's a website for it.
You've got to write what you love and the heck with the naysayers. Tell the story to yourself first and foremost.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who doesn't get you can suck it!
ReplyDeleteI started saying sometime in the 90's when the internet really got going - that for every human activity on earth - someone has sexualized it. Amazing how we as a species can do that!
oooh, I've never thought about the parents of erotica writers :)
ReplyDelete