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If you are not 18, please exit stage left. While there is normally nothing naughty here, I do write and review erotica so there are links to spicy stuff and the occasional heated excerpt.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Don't Be Stingy With The Syrup

One of my favorite foods on this planet is pancakes. To me there is nothing like those golden delicious disks coated in butter and syrup. I can't eat them very often, so when I do, they had better be good. No mediocre flapjacks for this woman or there will be consequences. However, if there is one thing I absolutely hate even above bad pancakes it's not having enough syrup. You see, I need to have what I call Perfect Syrup to Pancake ratio when I eat. Go ahead and laugh, my family has guffawed for years over this lunatic quirk of mine.

Anyway, in order to achieve said ratio, the amount of syrup should be proportionate to the size and thickness of the pancake as well as what the pancake is made of i.e. buttermilk, buckwheat...Are you all on the floor gasping with laughter, yet? Go ahead, I'll wait.

Done? Okay.

To continue, the syrup should coat the pancake generously, nearly drowning it, but not turning it into mush. This requires a lot of syrup and as I have discovered, there are a lot of places out there that hoard syrup and dole it out like food rations in these teeny tiny containers.

For example, the restaurant chain Cracker Barrel brings you the syrup in these heated little vials. Vials, hah, that's actually being generous. These little things are so small the syrup is measured in cc's like a drug. Come on, is it maple syrup or penicillin? I'm telling you, you need an eyedropper when you eat the pancakes there.

You would think that a restaurant calling itself a "house" of pancakes would know better. Wrong! At this place the syrup comes in little ceramic teaspoon-sized bowls. I was served three giant pancakes and naturally asked for more syrup. The waitress brought me one more mini-bowl. Really? I had to ask three times before she finally brought out an entire little tray of the thimbles. Damn, just bring me the whole bottle next time and save yourself the trouble.

I went to an All You Can Eat Pancake breakfast at a church. Let me tell you, these people were so stingy that they had a breakfast condiment table set up like we were refugees. Here one would hold out their plate of pancakes and receive precisely 1 pat of butter and 1 mini ladle-full of syrup. Excuse me? I asked for more and stood there waiting for the lady manning the station like Oliver the orphan. She kept giving me the Evil Eye like I was asking her to give me an extra Communion Host. Then give me the ladle, Sister Syrup Nazi and let me do it.

It's syrup people, not liquid gold. I met a guy for a breakfast date and we both ordered pancakes. Fortunately, this place put out mini pitchers of the stuff. Of course, I told him he had to get the waitress to bring him his own as I would be needing all of it. He was not amused and I never saw him again. I think I must be the only woman not to get a second date because of syrup.

I have finally been driven to smuggling in my own. I look like an ass, but I don't care. I have the syrup to myself and don't have to ask for any.

What about you all out there? Any crazy food things? Do you think I'm a big weirdo for this?


  1. You're not a weirdo! I'm exactly the same when it comes to pancakes! :o)

  2. we don't have maple syrup here in Europe, and I still don't have a recipe for American pancakes :) Here in Europe we usually eat crepes but we called them pancakes :) Not the same thing as those fluffy pieces of heaven from your pic :(

  3. @Jessica I love you for saying that and I'm happy to know I'm not alone. :)

    @Mike Glad you enjoyed the post. I was getting very hungry writing this and as I was trolling through images of pancakes.

    @Dez I'll have to send you a pancake recipe. They're easy to make and so delicious. Maple syrup is one of the most delicious things ever and if you want me to, I can recommend some good sites for ordering some to try. I do love crepes, too. Just not to the obsessive degree of pancakes. ;)

  4. Sorry, you lost me at the picture of pancakes. I suddenly find myself unable to concentrate on anything that isn't a stack of buttery syrupy pancakes...

  5. I am with you in this club! I normally kill the container for mine and have to get more for the table. I am intrigued though - this House of Pancakes must be a local iteration? Because the international version has fairly good sized jars (?) of syrup in the various flavors? And my best 'bringing your own' story: before my mom's passing, she and my pop liked their coffee so strong that no restaurant served anything close to their strength level. So my mom started carrying those coffee teabag things and after they ordered they would both rip one open and dip their coffee up to the drilling sludge consistency they liked!

  6. here in Austria it's called "Palatschinken" (pretty similar to Pancakes) and we eat mostly eat it with orange marmalade or sweet quark
    - and I totally understand you. I could eat oodles and oodles of this stuff :-)

  7. Sounds like you're better off making them at home! My wife loves pancakes and enjoys making them on the weekends. She doesn't care when I drown my pancakes in syrup, either. If they aren't doing the backstroke, it's not enough!

  8. Melissa - Go to IHOP. They have great pancakes (at least according to The Hubs and kids). The big plus! The syrup bottle is right on the table. You can pour syrup to your sweet heart's content. LOL

  9. ROFL, Lord I missed you. This did have me rolling on the floor and you are not a weirdo. Just a girl in search of syrup.

    BTW, our Cracker barrel doses it out in mini-syrup bottles like vodka on a leash. :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  10. Its all about the syrup! Now I want pancakes for dinner, and not the instant just add water kind. The Aunt Jemima that you have to add milk and eggs to.

  11. She kept giving me the Evil Eye like I was asking her to give me an extra Communion Host. Then give me the ladle, Sister Syrup Nazi and let me do it.


    My husband requires the same pancake-to-syrup ratio, so you are definitely not alone.

    Melissa - I've been completely sick for the past week and nearly missed out on the Blue Velvet thing. Just got my modest-but-sincere donation in there, under the wire. I also Tweeted and Facebooked about it.

    And to very belatedly answer your earlier question about what forbidden films I saw as an adolescent:

    Don't laugh, but the first rather shocking film I went to at the theatre with my cousins, parents and aunt & uncle was Silver Streak, with Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor, and rated PG. Our family is a huge fan of Young Frankenstein, and we were all getting a bit older, so the adults figured we could all go to Silver Streak as a transitional film thing. Of course, all the kids acted like it was no big deal when there was adult situational humor, but I remember being shocked at the time (I was 12 that summer.)

    The next shocker-about-which-I-acted-very-cool was Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I saw at a Halloween midnight showing at age 15 with my older high school friends. Of course, now it's one of my favorite films evah.

  12. You are cute! I love this post; geesh I am not surprised about the Syrup Nazi. Sad...

    Me, I am popcorn freak; I would eat it every day. Oh, yeah, usually I do...lol. I recently discovered they make Popcorn Ice cream with a Salted Caramel Syrup. Cold, creamy Caramel Corn...Oh, I have died and gone to popcorn heaven. Well,not yet...I haven't tasted it. It was on an Unique Sweet show I saw recently. Locally, there is no such thang. I will have to make my own!

  13. While I must admit that I prefer french toast, I do enjoy a certain amount of butter and syrup on my pancakes AND french toast! I am not a fan of those tiny cups.

    Something else I always have to ask for more of is those little dishes of melted butter at a seafood restaurant. I need to be able to douse my crab meat in butter. Same goes for cocktail sauce on shrimp.

    Tina @ Life is Good
    and I are joining forces in a followup A to Z challenge. We're going to visit and comment at each of the original A to Z participants, and we hope you'll join us!

    Shannon @ The Warrior Muse

  14. This makes me want pancakes. I think I'll these in the morning.

  15. @M.J. That is a tasty picture isn't it? I found myself struggling to concentrate as I was searching the pancake images.

    @Craig No, it was a local place and they should know better. I do like how IHOP puts out a decent sized pitcher and they don't look at you funny when you ask for more. they simply refill on request. Your parents rock! I know a couple of people like that.

  16. @Maynard Austria sounds like my kind of place. I could eat oodles of orange marmalade, myself.

    @Alex LOL Sounds like they invented the phrase "swimming in it" for our flapjacks. I'd make some at home, but by the time I actually make downstairs, I'm too tired to cook. ;)

    @RaShelle I love IHOP, too. This local incarnation just hasn't got a clue. Pouring syrup to my heart's content is my fondest wish.

  17. @Jules "vodka on a leash" I love that description. That about describes the little things they bring to your table at Cracker Barrel. Like it's liquid gold and we're only allotted so much. :)

    @Stephen Mmm...Love the those Aunt Jemima pancakes. I wonder if my sister-in-law will mind pancakes for dinner tonight. LOL

    @Julia I am so happy you are better. Being sick is the worst. You rock! Thank you so much for the donation and the shout outs. Every bit of support helps.

    I love, love Young Frankenstein and Rocky Horror. I've been to the midnight shows here in Chicago with my toast, squirt guns, etc. What a party!

  18. @Ella Aww... Thanks! I love popcorn, too. And cheese corn and caramel corn. LOL I could go on. I especially love the kettle corn. That salty sweet is just delicious.

    Popcorn ice cream...Hmmm I could get behind that.

    @Shannon Hi! Welcome to the Imaginarium. French toast is awesome! They should abolish those little cups, I swear. :)

    I heard about the post challenge challenge and I think you all rock for doing this. I may join you. I'd like to try and visit everyone. I finished probably dead last and was disappointed I didn't get to visit as many as I wanted.

    @msmariah Pancakes for breakfast is gold. Go ahead, I highly recommend it. I may have to see if I have enough in my budget to either buy the ingredients from the store or go over to the diner here.

  19. I don't think it's weird. For me a weird food combination is mayo and mustard slathered together between slices of bread...with no meat or cheese in between.

  20. Mayo and mustard sandwiches sound pretty good actually. I love them together already. :)


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